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Ray Guarendi, psychologist, husband and father of ten adopted children, considers the most commonly asked adoption questions with insight, humor and a heart for the adoptive family. His aim? To dispel unsettling misperceptions about adoption, to encourage others to think about and act on adoption, and to guide adoptive parents to a more relaxed, rewarding family life for all involved. A must-have resource for those considering adoption, those who have already adopted and those in the mix as family members or friends of adoptive parents.
At eleven o' clock one night in 1997, four hungry, damaged young children arrive on foster carers Trisha and Mike Merry's doorstep. Two social workers dropped them off with nothing but the ragged clothes they were wearing and no information. The children were covered in bruises, two had black eyes, one had a broken arm and they were all scratching themselves. Starved, seriously neglected and abused in every way, four young siblings have been repeatedly overlooked by everyone who should have cared. The eldest scavenges for food by night and is exhausted from trying to protect his sisters, his baby brother and himself from serious parental neglect and the perilous attentions of frequent paedophile visitors. From the start, these four children challenge Trisha and Mike to extremes. Despite all their experience over many years, they wonder if they have met their match. Yet, from that very first night, this couple's unbounded love and care and their unbelievable determination surmount all the obstacles that follow. The shocking truth about the children's home lives is beyond anything Trish and Mike have experienced, yet through their formidable efforts, their unshakeable belief in the children, and their (almost) unfailing sense of humour, they are able to turn around four young lives from tragedy to hope.
`I'm so sorry, Casey,' my link worker John said, sounding weary. `I know this is probably the worst time I could ring you, but we desperately need someone to take a child tonight.'It's the night before Christmas when Casey and Mike get the call. A twelve year old girl, stuck between a rock and a hard place. Her father is on a ventilator, fighting for his life, while her mother is currently on remand in prison. Despite claiming she attacked him in self-defence, she's been charged with his attempted murder.The girl is called Bella, and she's refusing to say anything. The trouble is that she is also the only witness...
Difficult behaviour in children with developmental trauma comes from a place of hurt. It is often confusing, unpredictable and painful both to the child and the people around them, and can be a form of self-protection or coping with deeply rooted fears and anxieties. Traumatized children rarely respond to traditional parenting strategies, but once you understand the impact of trauma on children you can master 'developmental reparenting' strategies which do work - by validating their feelings, boosting self-esteem and encouraging open and honest conversations. The first part of this book guides you using easy to understand language through the latest science and research relating to trauma and its impact on the brain and executive functioning. The second part forms the heart of the book, laying out 35 action charts to addresses some of the very hardest challenges for parents and carers - from inappropriate sexualised behaviour and overfamiliarity with strangers through to tantrums, food issues and deception.Written by an experienced adoptive parent who is also a qualified social worker with expertise in trauma-informed parenting, this book will be a welcome relief to any family struggling with the challenges of living with trauma in the home.
One sunny day, Bomji the rabbit and his friend Spotty the cat meet something very scary while picking flowers in the woods. The friends manage to escape, but afterwards Bomji just doesn't feel safe anymore. His body feels a bit different and he starts to have bad dreams. His friend Spotty is worried about Bomji - how can her friend be helped? Luckily, wise Teacher Owl is there for them. This therapeutic picture book allows children and adults to talk about a frightening experience. The story is followed by helpful guidance for adults on how to help their child. It explores how your body and how you feel is affected by scary experiences, and explains how you can use your body to help to recover too.
An inspiring true story of the tumultuous nine years Ashley
Rhodes-Courter spent in the foster care system, and how she
triumphed over painful memories and real-life horrors to ultimately
find her own voice.
Providing an authoritative overview of the growing phenomena of child to parent violence - a feature in the daily life of increasing numbers of families - this book outlines what we know about it, what is effective in addressing it, and outlines a proven model for intervention. Based on Non Violent Resistance (NVR), the model is founded on a number of key elements: parental commitment to non-violence, de-escalation skills, increased parental presence, engaging the support network and acts of reconciliation. The book outlines the theory and principles, and provides pragmatic guidance for implementing these elements, accompanied by case studies to bring the theory to life.
The heartbreaking true story of a young, troubled mother who needed help.The sixteenth fostering memoir by Cathy Glass.It is the first time Laura has been out since the birth of her baby when Cathy sees her in the school playground. A joyful occasion but Cathy has the feeling something is wrong. By the time she discovers what it is, it is too late. This is the true story of Laura whose life touches Cathy's in a way she could never have foreseen. It is also the true stories of little Darrel, Samson and Hayley who she fosters when their parents need help. Some stories can have a happy ending and others cannot, but as a foster carer Cathy can only do her best.
Aged nine Joss came home from school to discover her father's suicide. She's never gotten over it. This is the true story of Joss, 13 who is angry and out of control. At the age of nine, Joss finds her father's dead body. He has committed suicide. Then her mother remarries and Joss bitterly resents her step-father who abuses her mentally and physically. Cathy takes Joss under her wing but will she ever be able to get through to the warm-hearted girl she sees glimpses of underneath the vehement outbreaks of anger that dominate the house, and will Cathy be able to build up Joss's trust so she can learn the full truth of the terrible situation?
Sprinkle the pig has moved to a new house, with a new family, but he misses his old family. On his first day at school his classmate yells at him, and everything gets too much. He cries and cries, and soon the tears become a river and carry him away! Wise monkey spots Sprinkle, but he is too far away. Can he help Sprinkle to find hidden strengths to survive the river of tears? This therapeutic picture book is written to help children aged 4-10 and adults to talk about being separated from or losing loved ones, and explores how difficult experiences can affect how your body feels and reacts to things. It is followed by easy to read advice for adults on how to help your child.
Social workers are constantly making decisions under pressure. How do policy, law, research and theory influence what they do? This important book provides the answers with a crystal-clear map of the field of social work with children and families. Focused on four major themes - family support work, child protection, adoption and fostering, residential child care - the book brings together expert commentators to:? Outline the policy background;? Summarize the relevant law;? Describe the key theories;? Highlight the research findings. A wealth of real life case studies reveal, in detail, the challenges that social workers face every day. Through a series of questions, readers are invited to join in the process of 'Making connexions' between different elements of social work knowledge and practice. Edited by the highly respected Martin Davies, this authoritative and illuminating book argues that the skill of the social worker can have life-enhancing consequences for some of the most vulnerable people in society. It is an essential investment for students, educators and practitioners alike.
In a deep dark forest, Little Coyote grows up with a tough gang of big strong coyotes. They are cruel, call him names and order him about all day long. Little Coyote is too small to run away or to stand up for himself, so he learns to do what he's told and makes his body small so nobody notices him. Then, one day he goes on an adventure and ends up discovering new hidden strengths that he never knew he had.This therapeutic picture book is written to help children aged 4-10 and adults to talk about difficult experiences growing up (including things they may still be going through), and explores how they can affect how your body feels and reacts to things. It is followed by easy to read advice for adults on how to help your child.
The Sunday Times and New York Times bestselling author of Damaged tells the true story of Donna, who came into foster care aged ten, having been abused, victimised and rejected by her family.
Donna had been in foster care with her two young brothers for three weeks when she is abruptly moved to Cathy s. When Donna arrives she is silent, withdrawn and walks with her shoulders hunched forward and her head down. Donna is clearly a very haunted child and refuses to interact with Cathy s children Adrian and Paula.
After patience and encouragement from Cathy, Donna slowly starts to talk and tells Cathy that she blames herself for her and her brothers being placed in care. The social services were aware that Donna and her brothers had been neglected by their alcoholic mother, but no one realised the extent of the abuse they were forced to suffer. The truth of the physical torment she was put through slowly emerges, and as Donna grows to trust Cathy she tells her how her mother used to make her wash herself with wire wool so that she could get rid of her skin colour as her mother was so ashamed that Donna was mixed race.
The psychological wounds caused by the bullying she received also start to resurface when Donna starts reenacting the ways she was treated at home by hitting and bullying Paula, so much so that Cathy can t let Donna out of her sight.
As the pressure begins to mount on Cathy to help this child, things start to get worse and Donna begins behaving in erratic ways, trashing her bedroom and being regularly abusive towards Cathy s children. Cathy begins to wonder if she can find a way to help this child or if Donna s scars run too deep."
While focused on serving children and families, the adoption industry must also generate sufficient revenue to cover an agency's operating costs. With its fee-for-service model, Elizabeth Raleigh asks, How does private adoption operate as a marketplace? Her eye-opening book, Selling Transracial Adoption, provides a fine-grained analysis of the business decisions in the adoption industry and what it teaches us about notions of kinship and race. Adoption providers, Raleigh declares, are often tasked with pitching the idea of transracial adoption to their mostly white clientele. But not all children are equally "desirable," and transracial adoption-a market calculation-is hardly colorblind. Selling Transracial Adoption explicitly focuses on adoption providers andemploys candid interviews with adoption workers, social workers, attorneys, and counselors, as well as observations from adoption conferences and information sessions, toillustrate how agencies institute a racial hierarchy-especially when the supply of young and healthy infants is on the decline. Ultimately, Raleigh discovers that the racialized practices in private adoption serve as a powerful reflection of race in America.
Fourteen-year-old Adrianna arrives on Casey's doorstep with no possessions, no English, and no explanation. It will be a few weeks before Casey starts getting the shocking answers to her questions....Brought to Casey as a short-term emergency placement, fourteen-year-old Adrianna arrives with nothing but her gratitude. Having `turned herself in' to a social services office some hundred miles away, she has no possessions, no English and, apparently, no history - not that she's willing to share, anyway. She is a beautiful young Polish girl, with the bearing of a ballerina, but is terrified, malnourished and unwell. And, having slept rough for some time (the little they do know about her) she spends much of her first days with Watsons asleep in bed.Growing concerned about Adrianna's wellbeing, and her persistent high temperature, Casey decides to call in the GP. But, to her surprise, Adrianna becomes almost hysterical about being examined and, given her refusal to talk - even via the interpreter they've brought in for her - Casey's fostering antennae begin twitching. Where has she come from? And why is she so terrified to be touched? What has happened to make her so ill and scared?It will be a few weeks before Casey starts getting answers to these questions. Shocking answers; ones that throw up a whole host of new questions and the beginnings of a journey to find justice for Adrianna, and, more importantly, a future, and a home...
Casey's Unit is, as ever, full of troubled, disaffected pupils, and new arrival Leo is something of a conundrum.Thirteen year old Leo isn't a bad lad - in fact, he's generally polite and helpful, but he's in danger of permanent exclusion for repeatedly absconding and unauthorised absences. Despite letters being sent home regularly, his mother never turns up for any appointments, and when the school calls home she always seems to have an excuse.Though Casey has her hands full, she offers to intervene for a while, to try get Leo engaged in learning again and remaining in school. The head's sceptical though and warns her that this is Leo's very last chance. But Casey's determined, because there's something about Leo that makes her want to fight his corner, and get to the bottom of whatever it is that compels this enigmatic boy to keep running away. With Leo so resolutely tight-lipped and secretive, Casey knows that if she's going to keep this child in education, she's going to have to get to the bottom of it herself...
What could cause a mother to believe that giving away her newborn baby is her only option? Cathy Glass is about to find out. From author of Sunday Times and New York Times bestseller Damaged comes a harrowing and moving memoir about tiny Harrison, left in Cathy s care, and the potentially fatal family secret of his beginnings.
When Cathy is first asked to foster one-day old Harrison her only concern is if she will remember how to look after a baby. But upon collecting Harrison from the hospital, Cathy realises she has more to worry than she thought when she discovers that his background is shrouded in secrecy.
She isn t told why Harrison is in foster care and his social worker says only a few are aware of his very existence, and if his whereabouts became known his life, and that of his parents, could be in danger. Cathy tries to put her worries aside as she looks after Harrison, a beautiful baby, who is alert and engaging. Cathy and her children quickly bond with Harrison although they know that, inevitably, he will eventually be adopted.
But when a woman Cathy doesn t know starts appearing in the street outside her house acting suspiciously, Cathy fears for her own family s safety and demands some answers from Harrison s social worker. The social worker tells Cathy a little but what she says is very disturbing . How is this woman connected to Harrison and can she answer the questions that will affect Harrison s whole life?"
A dramatic debut short story from London-based foster carer Mia Marconi.An incredible chain of events that began in Italy during WWII with an illegitimate pregnancy shaped Mia's destiny. The illegitimate child was her father, a lost soul who she idolised. Protecting him instilled in her an instinct to care for the vulnerable and, after a chance meeting with a chaotic foster family, she decided fostering was her vocation.In an incredible twist of fate, the first baby she fostered was born to an unmarried Italian girl. Then came Hope, so badly damaged by her teenage mother's alcoholism she was in hospital for a year. Finally discharged and settled in Mia's happy home, what happened next would make Mia question if she could carry on.www.harpertrue.co.uk
The latest title from the internationally bestselling author and foster carer Cathy Glass.Beth is a sweet-natured child who appears to have been well looked after. But it isn't long before Cathy begins to have concerns that the relationship between Beth and her father is not as it should be.Little Beth, aged 7, has been brought up by her father Derek after her mother left when she was a toddler. When Derek is suddenly admitted to hospital with psychiatric problems Beth is taken into care and arrives at Cathy's.Beth and her father clearly love each other very much and Derek spoils his daughter, treating her like a princess, but there is something bothering Cathy, something she can't quite put her finger on.Meanwhile Cathy's husband is working away a lot and coming home less at weekends. Then, suddenly, everything changes. Events take a dramatic turn for both Beth and Cathy and her family; as Cathy strives to pick up the pieces all their lives are changed forever.
Cathy Glass, international bestselling author, tells the shocking story of Zeena, a young Asian girl desperate to escape from her family. When 14 -year-old Zeena begs to be taken into care with a non-Asian family, she is clearly petrified. But of what? Placed in the home of experienced foster carer Cathy and her family, Zeena gradually settles into her new life, but misses her little brothers and sisters terribly. Prevented from having any contact with them by her family who insist she has brought shame and dishonour on the whole community, Zeena tries to see them at school. But when her father and uncle find out, they bundle her into a car and threaten to set fire to her if she makes anymore trouble. Zeena is too frightened to press charges against them despite being offered police protection in a safe house. Eventually, Cathy discovers the devastating truth from Zeena, and with devastation she believes there is little she can do to help her.
As an adoptee, do you have mixed feelings about your adoption? If you do, you are not alone - adoptees often experience complex feelings of grief, anger, and questions about their identity. Sherrie Eldridge is an adoptee and adoption expert, and in this book she draws on her personal experiences and feelings relating to adoption as well as interviews with over 70 adoptees. Sherrie reveals how you can discover your own unique life purpose and worth, and sets out 20 life-transforming choices which you have the power to make. The choices will help you discover answers about issues such as: Why do I feel guilty when I think about my birth parents? Why can't I talk about the painful aspects of adoption? Where can I gain an unshakable sense of self-esteem? Sherrie also addresses the problem of depression among adoptees and common dilemmas such as if, when and how to contact a birth mother or father. This fully updated second edition includes new material on finding support online, contacting family through social media, and features three new chapters, including Sherrie's story of reuniting with her birth brother, Jon, in adulthood.
Across Europe young people in public care are around five times less likely to attend tertiary education than those who have not been in care. This book provides a comprehensive account of why this shocking discrepancy exists and outlines ways to address the imbalance. Drawing extensively on new original research, the book examines the participation of young people in care in further and higher education. It provides a historical and legislative overview of the topic and in-depth national case studies look at the situation in England compared with Denmark, Sweden, Spain and Hungary. The authors set out clearly what we can learn from these comparisons and how to create more equal opportunities for children and young people in care today. This important book will be essential reading for those dedicated to removing barriers to accessing to further and higher education, including FE and HE lecturers, student support staff, social workers, policymakers and researchers working across fields of education, sociology, psychology, social work and social policy.
This book presents an innovative relational/community based therapeutic model to ensure children's essential attachment needs are catered for in intensive mental health care.The text combines an overview of theory relating to attachment and trauma before laying out a model for working with children and adolescents in an attachment-informed way. The approach applies to a diverse range of settings - from in-patient psychiatric setting, through to schools-based programs, and provides the reader with the knowledge and guidance they need to introduce the approach in their own service. It also addresses the complexities of working with specific clinical populations, including children with ADHD, ASD, RAD and psychosis. Accessible for entry level clinical caretakers, yet sophisticated enough for clinical supervisors, this book is essential reading for professionals looking to improve the effectiveness of child and adolescent treatment programs.
The fourth in a series of true short stories from foster carer Mia Marconi. Kira first came to foster carer Mia Marconi's home on respite care when she was three. She had suffered an unimaginable amount of abuse in her short life. Although she couldn't tie her shoe laces, she could smash a room to pieces; she fought against everything like a wild cat. At the age of five Kira moved permanently to live with Mia and her family, but by the time she was nine years old the whole family was at breaking point. Mia is the kind of person who won't give in and believes she can always change things for the better, but try as she might she can't change Kira. So after six years, with a very heavy heart, she is forced to question whether she can really help this lost and damaged child. Raw, shocking and honest, this short story will shed new light on the role of foster carers, revealing the kind of heartbreaking real life situations carers like Mia Marconi are confronted with every day.
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