Chance Hits (Paperback)

This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1915 Excerpt: ...with much divorce, They well suffice. This sort of thing brings happiness In large amounts. Another thing helps more or less--Two bank accounts. HE GUESSED She whispered in the honeymoon, "How cool you were when you proposed And I, poor thing, thought I should swoon You noticed how my eyes were closed?" "I don't remember that," he said; "You did not seem at all confused; I knew that I had lost my head, And rather feared you were amused." "You rogue," she said, but drummed her foot, "You're only teasing now, you know You do remember how I put My finger in my mouth--just so?" "All this," he said, "from me was hid Was I not right to understand You put your finger where you did Because I tried to kiss your hand?" There are times when an upright piano is a downright nuisance. A SEASIDE IDYL "I love the sea," remarked Suzette. "Then may I ask," said I, "Why, if you fancy things so wet, Your bathing suit is dry?" She did not think my humor apt, And gave me tit for tat: "The ocean isn't fresh," she snapped, "I like it, sir, for that. I love it for its surf," she said, "That bounds upon the shore." "Suzette," I cried, "I'll be abused In metaphor no more Come, let the blooming ocean go?" (I put my arm around her.) "I'll be your serf." Said she, "Oh, Joe, You really are a bounder " Sir Pointstake--Waiter, bring me some oysters. They must not be too small, nor too large, nor too fat and salty, and, above all things, they must be cold, but not too cold, and I want them quick Hammond Aigs (waiter)--Yas, sir; but you didn't specify yet whether you want them with or without pearls. Now, one and one a...