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Xoliswa Nduneni-Ngema loved the theatre and dreamed of being an actress. She soon discovered that acting wasn't for her – managing productions was. She meets rising-star, Mbongeni Ngema and they marry. As his success grows, they start a company that births the hit Sarafina! But beneath the stardom, Xoliswa experiences constant abuse. With Fred Khumalo, she tells her powerful story.
At the height of her journalism career, more than one million households across the country knew her name and her face. Her reportage on human suffering and triumph captivated viewers, and with it Vanessa Govender shot to fame as one of the first female Indian television news reporters in South Africa. Always chasing the human angle of any news story, Govender made a name for herself by highlighting stories that included the grief of a mother clutching a packet filled with the fragments of the broken bones of her children after they’d been hacked to death by their own father, and another story where she celebrated the feisty spirit of a little girl who was dying of old age, while holding onto dreams that would never be realised. Yet Govender, a champion for society’s downtrodden, was hiding a shocking story of her own. In Beaten But Not Broken, she finally opens up about her deepest secret – one that so nearly ended her career in broadcast journalism before it had barely kicked off.
She was a rookie reporter at the SABC in 1999. He was a popular radio disc jockey, the darling of the SABC’s Lotus FM, a radio station catering to nearly half a million Indian people across South Africa. They were the perfect pair, or so it seemed. And if anyone suspected the nature of the abusive relationship, Govender says, she doesn’t believe they knew the full extent of the horror that the popular DJ was inflicting on this intrepid journalist. The bruising punches, the cracking slaps, and the relentless episodes filled with beatings, kicking and strangling were as ferocious as the emotional and verbal abuse he hurled at her. No one would know the brutal and graphic details of Govender’s story … until now.
In Beaten But Not Broken, this Indian woman does the unthinkable, maybe even the unforgiveable, in breaking the ranks of a close-knit conservative community to speak out about her five-year-long hell in this abusive relationship. Her story also lays bare her heart-breaking experiences as a victim of childhood bullying and being ostracised by some in her community for being a dark-skinned Indian girl. Govender tells a graphic story of extreme abuse, living with the pain, and ultimately of how she was saved by her own relentless fighting spirit to find purpose and love. This is a story of possibilities and hope; it is a story of a true survivor.
When South Africa’s golden girl of broadcasting, Tracy Going’s battered face was splashed across the media back in the late 1990s, the nation was shocked. South Africans had become accustomed to seeing Going, glamorous and groomed on television or hearing her resonant voice on Radio Metro and Kaya FM. Sensational headlines of a whirlwind love relationship turned horrendously violent threw the “perfect” life of the household star into disarray.
What had started off as a fairy-tale romance with a man who appeared to be everything that Going was looking for – charming, handsome and successful – had quickly descended into a violent, abusive relationship.
“As I stood before him all I could see were the lies, the disappearing for days without warning, the screaming, the threats, the terror, the hostage-holding, the keeping me up all night, the dragging me through the house by my hair, the choking, the doors locked around me, the phones disconnected, the isolation, the fear and the uncertainty.”
The rosy love cloud burst just five months after meeting her “Prince Charming” when she staggered into the local police station, bruised and battered. A short relationship became a two-and-a-half-year legal ordeal played out in the public eye. In mesmerising detail, Going takes us through the harrowing court process – a system seeped in injustice – her decline into depression, the immediate collapse of her career due to the highly public nature of her assault and the decades-long journey to undo the psychological damages in the search for safety and the reclaiming of self. The roots of violence form the backdrop of the book, tracing Going’s childhood on a plot in Brits, laced with the unpredictable violence of an alcoholic father who regularly terrorised the family with his fists of rage.
“I was ashamed of my father, the drunk. If he wasn’t throwing back the liquid in the lounge then he’d be finding comfort and consort in his cans at the golf club. With that came the uncertainty as I lay in my bed and waited for him to return. I would lie there holding my curtain tight in my small hand. I would pull the fabric down, almost straight, forming a strained sliver and I would peer into the blackness, unblinking. It seemed I was always watching and waiting. Sometimes I searched for satellites between the twinkles of light, but mostly the fear in my tummy distracted me.”
Brilliantly penned, this highly skilled debut memoir, is ultimately uplifting in the realisation that healing is a lengthy and often arduous process and that self-forgiveness and acceptance is essential in order to fully embrace life.
Jenny-May Hudson grew up in Pretoria, South Africa, the third child of an Afrikaner father and a British mother. Her childhood was horribly marred by her domineering father, who beat her mother, showered blows and insults on his children, and micro-managed the household with weapons, mind-games, and violence. Ironically, his tactics would come back to haunt him. The years of pain would leave Jenny-May with grim memories. Yet through the power of Christ a transformation was in store.
Today Jenny-May is whole and happy. She and her husband Elmore, and their three children, have relocated to Perth, Australia. Jenny-May has developed a considerable speaking ministry, and her journey - from abuse to self-acceptance and joy - has become a source of inspiration to thousands.
This book demonstrates that nothing can hold you captive without your consent.
"Warm, honest and true--A Woman Makes A Plan is full of insight as well as a good dose of humor, offering readers a lifetime of hard-won advice." --Diane Von Furstenberg The international supermodel shares personal stories and lessons learned from a life of "living dangerously--carefully"
Maye Musk is a fashionable, charming, jet-setting supermodel with a fascinating and tight-knit circle of family and friends--and is 71 years old. But things were not always so easy or glamorous--she became a single mom at 31, struggling through poverty to provide for her three children; dealt with weight issues as a plus-size model and overcame ageism in the modeling industry; and established a lifelong career as a respected dietitian, all the while starting over in eight different cities across three countries and two continents. But she made her way through it all with an indomitable spirit and a no-nonsense attitude to become a global success at what she calls the "prime of her life."
As everyone who follows her obsessively on social media knows, Maye is a fount of frank and practical advice on how the choices you make in every decade can pay off in surprising, exciting ways throughout your life. In A Woman Makes a Plan, Maye shares experiences from her life conveying hard-earned wisdom on career (the harder you work, the luckier you get), family (let the people you love go their own way), health (there is no magic pill), and adventure (make room for discovery, but always be ready for anything). You can't control all that happens in life, but you can have the life you want at any age. All you have to do is make a plan.
When Zoe was taken into care at the age of 13, she thought she was finally going to escape from the cruel abuse she had suffered throughout her childhood. Then social services placed her in a residential unit known to be 'a target for prostitution', and suddenly Zoe's life was worse than it had ever been before. Abused and ostracized by her mother, humiliated by her father's sexual innuendos, physically assaulted and bullied by her eldest brother, even as a young child Zoe thought she deserved the desperately unhappy life she was living. `I've sharpened a knife for you,' her mother told her the first time she noticed angry red wounds on her daughter's arms. And when Zoe didn't kill herself, her mother gave her whisky, which she drank in the hope that it would dull the miserable, aching loneliness of her life. One day at school Zoe showed her teacher the livid bruises that were the result of her mother's latest physical assault and within days she was taken into care. Zoe had been at Denver House for just three weeks when an older girl asked if she'd like to go to a party, then took her to a house where there were just three men. Zoe was a virgin until that night, when two of the men raped her. Having returned to the residential unit in the early hours of the morning, when she told a member of staff what had happened to her, her social worker made a joke about it, then took her to get the morning-after pill. For Zoe, the indifference of the staff at the residential unit seemed like further confirmation of what her mother had always told her - she was worthless. Before long, she realised that the only way to survive in the unit was to go to the `parties' the older girls were paid to take her to, drink the drinks, smoke the cannabis and try to blank out what was done to her when she was abused, controlled and trafficked around the country. No action was taken by the unit's staff or social workers when Zoe asked for their help, and without anyone to support or protect her, the horrific abuse continued for the next few years, even after she left the unit. But in her heart Zoe was always a fighter. This is the harrowing, yet uplifting story, of how she finally broke free of the abuse and neglect that destroyed her childhood and obtained justice for her years of suffering.
Housing matters for everyone, as it provides shelter, security, privacy, and stability. For survivors of intimate partner violence (IPV), housing takes on an additional meaning; it is the key to establishing a new life, free from abuse. IPV survivors often face such inadequate housing options, however, that they must make excruciating choices between cycling through temporary shelters, becoming homeless, or returning to their abusers. Home Safe Home offers a multifaceted analysis that accounts for both IPV survivors' needs and the practical challenges involved in providing them with adequate permanent housing. Incorporating the varied perspectives of the numerous housing providers, activists, policymakers, and researchers who have a stake in these issues, the book also lets IPV survivors have their say, expressing their views on what housing and services can best meet their short and long-term goals. Researchers Hilary Botein and Andrea Hetling not only examine the federal and state policies and funding programs determining housing for IPV survivors, but also provide detailed case studies that put a human face on these policy issues. As it traces how housing options and support mechanisms for IPV survivors have evolved over time, Home Safe Home also offers innovative suggestions for how policymakers and advocates might work together to better meet the needs of this vulnerable population.
Natasha Trethewey was born in Mississippi in the 60s to a black mother and a white father. When she was six, Natasha's parents divorced, and she and her mother moved to Atlanta. There, her mother met the man who would become her second husband, and Natasha's stepfather. While she was still a child, Natasha decided that she would not tell her mother about what her stepfather did when she was not there: the quiet bullying and control, the games of cat and mouse. Her mother kept her own secrets, secrets that grew harder to hide as Natasha came of age. When Natasha was nineteen and away at college, her stepfather shot her mother dead on the driveway outside their home. With penetrating insight and a searing voice that moves from the wrenching to the elegiac, Memorial Drive is a compelling and searching look at a shared human experience of sudden loss and absence, and a piercing glimpse at the enduring ripple effects of white racism and domestic abuse. Luminous, urgent, and visceral, it cements Trethewey's position as one of the most important voices in America today.
South Africa has one of the highest murder rates in the world, and a femicide rate that is more than five times the world average.
In this book, Dr Nechama Brodie looks at the story of femicide in South Africa over the past forty years. She interrogates police, public health and media data, exploring the history of violence against women in an entirely new way that contextualises and challenges the state and public response to what has, in reality, been a crisis for decades.
Decade after decade, violence against women has gained more attention from scholars, policy makers, and the general public. Social scientists in particular have contributed significant empirical and theoretical understandings to this issue.
Strikingly, scant attention has focused on the victimization of women who want to leave their hostile partners. This groundbreaking work challenges the perception that rural communities are safe havens from the brutality of urban living. Identifying hidden crimes of economic blackmail and psychological mistreatment, and the complex relationship between patriarchy and abuse, Walter S. DeKeseredy and Martin D. Schwartz propose concrete and effective solutions, giving voice to women who have often suffered in silence.
He'd been her friend for years. He said he loved her. Then she realised she didn't know him at all... When everything seemed to be falling apart in Sophie's life, she was thankful for her friend Kas, who was always at the end of a phone, ready to listen and to offer comfort and advice. Her father's cold dislike of her and then her parents' divorce had left her with a deep distrust of men. But, gradually, Kas made her believe there was at least one man who truly cared about her. But she was wrong. At first when Sophie went to stay for a few days with Kas in Italy, he was kind and caring, as he'd always been. But three days after she arrived, everything changed. His eyes were cold as he described the things he expected her to do `for love'. But soon Sophie's bewilderment turned to fear as he punched and shouted at her and threatened to kill her adored younger brothers if she didn't do exactly as she was told...to sell her body on the streets to pay off Kas's debts. Terrified of Kas, the police and the men whose pleasures she was forced to satisfy, Sophie worked seven nights a week for the next six months on the dark and lonely streets of a town in northern Italy. Subjected regularly to Kas's verbal, mental and physical abuse, she knew she would never escape. And then, one day, after she'd been admitted to hospital with stomach pains - and knowing that Kas would kill her if he found out - she dared to phone her mother. But who would reach her first?
The Cambridge Handbook of Violent Behavior and Aggression presents the current state of knowledge related to the study of violent behaviors and aggression. An important extension of the first Handbook published ten years ago, the second edition maintains a distinctly cross-disciplinary focus by representing the newest scholarship and insights from behavior genetics, cross-cultural comparative psychology/criminology, evolutionary psychology, criminal justice, criminology, human development, molecular genetics, neurosciences, psychology, prevention and intervention sciences, psychiatry, psychopharmacology, public health, and sociology. The Handbook is divided into introductory and overview chapters on the study of violent behavior and aggression, followed by chapters on biosocial bases, individual and interpersonal factors, contextual factors, and prevention and intervention work and policy implications. It is an essential resource for researchers, scholars, and graduate students across social and behavioral science disciplines interested in the etiology, intervention, and prevention of violent behavior and aggression.
'You said I was the perfect boyfriend. If you can prove you really love me, perhaps I can be that way again.' This is the chilling true story of a woman trapped in a devastating relationship as she tries to prove her love - over and over again. Within days of spending their first evening together, Alice and Joe were talking about getting married and spending the rest of their lives with each other. Everything about Joe seemed perfect, and Alice was the happiest she'd ever been. Then one day Joe saw a message on her phone from an old love, and that changed everything. He ignored Alice's explanations and desperate pleas. And soon the violence and abuse began. As she attempted to prove to Joe that he really was her world, Alice gave up everything that mattered to her, including her family, her friends and her job. But still it wasn't enough. Then the `challenges' started, and finally Alice dared to hope that this time, maybe this time, Joe might just believe she loved him ...
Over the past 20 years, much work has focused on domestic violence, yet little attention has been paid to the causes, manifestations, and resolutions to marital violence among ethnic minorities, especially recent immigrants. Margaret Abraham's Speaking the Unspeakable is the first book to focus on South Asian women's experiences of domestic violence, defined by the author as physical, sexual, verbal, mental, or economic coercion, power, or control perpetrated on a woman by her spouse or extended kin. Abraham explains how immigration issues, cultural assumptions, and unfamiliarity with the American social, legal, and economic systems, coupled with stereotyping, make these women especially vulnerable to domestic violence. Through the actual stories of South Asian women, we learn of their weaknesses and strengths and their encounters of domestic violence within the larger cultural, social, economic, and political context. We see both the individual strategies of resistance against their abusers as well as the pivotal role South Asian women's help organizations play in helping these women escape abusive relationships. Abraham also describes the central role played by South Asian activism as it emerged in the 1980s in the United States, and addresses the practices both within and outside of the South Asian community that stereotype, discriminate, and oppress South Asians in their everyday lives.
AN ESQUIRE AND NEW YORK TIMES BOOK OF THE YEAR
An award-winning journalist’s exploration of the domestic violence epidemic, and how to combat it.
An average of 137 women are killed by familial violence across the globe every day. In the UK alone, two women die each week at the hands of their partners, and in the US domestic violence homicides have risen by 32 percent since 2017. The WHO deems it a ‘global epidemic’. Yet public understanding of this urgent problem remains catastrophically low.
Journalist Rachel Louise Snyder was no exception. Despite years of experience reporting on international conflicts, when it came to violence in the domestic sphere, she believed all the common assumptions: that it was a fate for the unlucky few, a matter of bad choices and cruel environments. That if things were dire enough, victims would leave. That violence inside the home was private. And, perhaps most of all, that unless you stand at the receiving end of a punch, it has nothing to do with you.
All this changed when Snyder began talking to the victims and perpetrators whose stories she tells in this book. Fearlessly reporting from the front lines of the epidemic, in No Visible Bruises she interviews men who have murdered their families, women who have nearly been murdered, and people who have grown up besieged by familial aggression, painting a vivid and nuanced picture of its reality. She talks to experts in violence prevention and law enforcement, revealing how domestic abuse has its roots in our education, economic, health, and justice systems, and how by tackling these origins we can render it preventable.
View the Table of Contents
aThis collection provides the most insightful and influential
analyses from the last two decades showing how violence against
women and children is all too-well integrated into global politics
"This is an extraordinary interdisciplinary volume. It is
comprehensive both in terms of the subjects that it includes as
well as the type of articles, essays and the range of contributors.
"Gender Violence" makes a very significant contribution to the
literature on violence against women."
From the murder of schoolgirls in a rural Amish community to the widespread rape of women in the Sudan to sexual predators on the Internet, this volume explores the persistent, pervasive phenomenon of gendered violence in the United States and around the world.
In the fully revised second edition of this path-breaking anthology, the editors bring together emerging scholarship from feminist, post-modern, and queer theory with classic articles and central authors in the fields of gender, sexuality and violence. This edition features a new comprehensive introduction, revised section introductions, and eighteen new selections, including original articles on sex trafficking, masculinity and terrorism, and community responses to gender violence. Other topics represented in this volume include sexual harassment and violence in schools and workplaces, child abuse, intimate partner violence, and pornography.
Innovative theoretical and empirical articles written by scholars fromfields such as law, history, and the social sciences appear alongside solution-focused pieces developed by activists, academics, and poets committed to creating a non-violent world.
This book explains violent and abusive behaviour and places it in a social context. It can help readers of any age and sexual orientation to change their own behaviour and to recognise when they are being controlled. "I can honestly say that without reading this book (9 times no less ) I don't think that I would be here today, relaxed in my own home with my children that I love so much."
Until 1971, female victims of domestic violence were expected to 'kiss and make up' with their husbands, hide their black eyes and bruises, and bear the shame that somehow their partners' brutality was their fault. Chiswick Women's Aid was Europe's first ever refuge for what were then called 'battered women', and Jenny Smith was one of the first females who bravely made their way to this much-needed safe house. Desperate, and in fear for her life and the welfare of her two small children, Jenny had fled her dangerously schizophrenic partner, carrying only a few possessions. In the Chiswick shelter, founded by famous women's rights campaigner Erin Pizzey, Jenny found other women in the same position, all with harrowing, extraordinary stories to tell. Amenities were basic, but the respect, kindness and humanity of the community would help to give Jenny a new lease of life and strength. When the safe house came under threat of closure, she lobbied parliament and drove across Europe in a convoy of women in camper vans to raise awareness of their plight. Jenny's story is a slice of social history that begins in a Derbyshire mining village in the 1950s and takes the reader to inner city of Hackney in the 1960s, and Jenny's heart-breaking journey to the refuge. The house was the subject of a famous documentary, Scream Quietly or the Neighbours Will Hear, which, when first broadcast in 1974, sent shockwaves through the UK. Jenny was one of the first women to break a taboo by speaking publicly about domestic abuse. With the new start afforded her by the refuge, Jenny went on to find love, have another child and work as a foster carer.
This book discusses health care issues related to domestic violence, using extensive case studies from India. By discussing the global literature, legal systems, methodological challenges of gathering information on domestic violence, and health systems issues, along with learnings from case studies, it fills a significant gap in the literature between health care policy and practice vis-a-vis victims of domestic violence. It therefore enables a systemic and systematic response to incidents of domestic violence. Policy instructions, court verdicts, government interventions, community-based direct interventions and related case discussions in the book help in the understanding and management of cases. Though the book uses case studies from India, it addresses globally relevant issues for health care professionals. In view of the paucity of application of systematic evidence-based knowledge, the holistic perspective presented in the book is important to prevent domestic violence, protect women's rights, and promote healthcare and wellbeing of women and children facing domestic violence. Medical professionals are expected to intervene in instances of injuries related to domestic violence---a responsibility that they are currently unable to fulfil due to lack of training in recognizing abuse and lack of tools for intervention. This book improves hands-on-knowledge by providing information on where to refer victims for assistance and timely intervention. Comprehensive yet lucid, this book is useful for academics, policy makers, non-government organizations and women's rights groups in helping victims during and after a violent episode and also in improving reporting and referral services.
When Rahmat Sulemani reported his girlfriend Banaz missing, it quickly became clear to DCI Caroline Goode that something was very wrong. In fact, Banaz had contacted her local police station multiple times before, even listing the names of the men she expected to murder her in a so-called 'honour' killing. Her parents didn't seem worried, but Banaz had already accused them of being part of the plot.
DCI Goode's team took on the investigation before they even had proof that a murder had taken place. What emerged was a shocking story of betrayal and a community-wide web of lies, which would take the team from suburban south London to the mountain ranges of Kurdistan, making covert recordings and piecing together cell phone data to finally bring the killers to justice.
What can schools and social care workers do to help children affected by domestic violence?
Large numbers of children are affected by domestic violence. The problem crosses every social class and culture. It causes distress and anxiety in children and adversely affects their learning and play, as well as their behaviour, wellbeing and attendance.
Education staff may know of a child or family in crisis, want to help, yet feel outside their comfort zone, grappling with a complex issue not covered in their training. This book describes the impact of domestic violence on children and provides support for education and social care professionals. It takes heavy workloads into account and suggests practical ways of meeting the needs of pupils who come from difficult home backgrounds.
The authors provide guidance and advice on:
Domestic Violence and Children draws on the expertise of a wide range of professionals, including specialist domestic violence children's workers and counsellors, psychologists, teachers, mentors and family support workers. It provides essential help and information to all children's service directorates, as well as a range of professionals in education, social care, health and the voluntary sector.
After centuries of being considered a private matter in most societies, violence and its profound effect on the physical health, mental health, and social well-being of victims and their families, as well as on the assailants themselves, has started to take centre stage as a public issue of worldwide concern.
Health and social service providers are in pivotal positions to provide preventive and restorative services to those affected by violent and abusive behaviour. This comprehensive textbook presents theoretical background and practical strategies for doing so, providing a solid knowledge base for good practice in this area. It emphasizes the interdisciplinary aspects of violence and victim/survivor care and addresses violence over the lifespan, covering:
This text is an essential resource for qualified practitioners wanting to learn more about this area and for students starting out in health and social care. Each chapter includes case studies and thinking points, and suggestions for application in practice settings. A companion website provides materials for students and educators, enabling the inclusion of violence issues in an already busy curriculum.
Lee Ann Hoff is a nurse-anthropologist and crisis specialist. She has published widely and is the author of the award-winning textbook People in Crisis. She has extensive experience as an educator, consultant, clinician, and crisis service manager.
Long disregarded and downplayed, female domestic violence is today rapidly gaining awareness as research proves not only that it exists, but that-according to multiple incidence studies-the frequency of women actually initiating abusive behaviour is about equal to men. While certain core elements of intimate partner violence are shared among all domestic violence offenders, female offenders face unique triggers, personal backgrounds and relationship dynamics. The STOP Program: For Women Who Abuse is the most innovative and comprehensive manual to address domestic violence treatment specifically to female offenders, with a programme targeted to engage women in their own healing process. This programme will radically change the landscape for treatment of women who abuse. This comprehensive instruction manual for group treatment offers therapists, social workers and other counsellors sound, psychologically-based interventions to reach the very women who often seem unapproachable in a treatment setting. Developed and field-tested for over twenty-five years among military and civilian populations, the programme provides a skill-building approach to address the core elements of all intimate partner violence as well as the aspects that are unique to female offenders. Participants are held responsible for their actions-and pushed to examine the complex roles of trauma, emotional dysregulation, self-esteem deficits and histories of personal victimisation in their relationship struggles. Presented in a 26-week or 52-week psychoeducational format, the group leader's manual is packed with teaching methods, skills-training exercises, articles, video clips and other resources, as well as guidelines for addressing the substance abuse issues which frequently exacerbate female domestic violence. Accompanying handouts and homework for participants (sold separately) provide structure for recovery both within the sessions and at home.
ABC of Domestic and Sexual Violence is a practical guide for all health care professionals who are looking after abused individuals (whether knowingly or not) and who wish to learn more in order to help their patients. It employs a positive and hands on approach, emphasising simple history taking skills and clinical tips and pitfalls to help demystify what is often considered a sensitive or difficult subject area. This new ABC title covers background and epidemiology, including: international and cultural perspectives, common presentations, how to identify abuse, and guidance on subsequent acute and longer-term medical and psychosocial interventions. It provides guidance on legal perspectives including documentation and sources of help and advice. While focusing mainly on women, it will also cover aspects relating to children and men. It also incorporates victim testimonies and case scenarios throughout. From a multidisciplinary team of contributors ABC of Domestic and Sexual Violence is ideal for all general practitioners, accident and emergency, practice nurses, health visitors, midwives, social workers, and other primary and secondary care health care professionals.
Muslim Women, Domestic Violence, and Psychotherapy reconciles newly emerging Islamic practical theology with the findings and theories of contemporary social sciences. It is an inquiry about the lived experience of the Islamic tradition and its application in Islamic counseling with Muslim women subject to domestic violence. By incorporating a holistic examination of the worldview, personhood, and understanding of social and religious obligations of Muslim women in counseling, this book shows how practitioners can empower clients facing trauma and abuse to explore feasible solutions and decrease worry, anxiety, and other negative emotions.
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