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'I was made in Coffee Bay. Right there on the beach, in the sand.'
From the opening lines, we are drawn in and engrossed by this startling memoir of a singular childhood. Suzan is adopted as a newborn in the late 1960s into a seemingly loving and welcoming family living in Pietermaritzburg. But Suzan is set on a collision course with, most particularly, her adoptive mother, and society, from her very beginning. Suzan's relationship with her mother is fraught with drama, which veers over into a level of emotional abuse and needless cruelty that is shocking.
At the age of thirteen, Suzan is sent to a place of safety as a ward of the state, effectively 'orphaning' her. From there, she spirals out of control – fighting to survive in a world of other neglected, abandoned and abused children. She becomes a 'runner', escaping at every opportunity from her various places of confinement, grabbing her schooling in snatches, living on the edges of a drug and prostitution underworld, finding love wherever she can.
Suzan’s young life was the stuff of movies, but it is her writing, in a voice that is unforgettable and true, that transforms her memories into something magical rarely matched in South African literature. A new classic.
Can racism and intimacy co-exist? Can love and friendship form and flourish across South Africa’s imposed colour lines?
Who better to engage on the subject of hazardous liaisons than the students with whom Jonathan Jansen served over seven years as Vice Chancellor of the University of the Free State. The context is the University campus in Bloemfontein, the City of Roses, the Mississippi of South Africa. Rural, agricultural, insular, religious and conservative, this is not a place for breaking out. But over the years, Jansen observed shifts in campus life and noticed more and more openly interracial friendships and couples, and he began having conversations with these students with burning questions in mind.
Ten interracial couples tell their stories of love and friendship in their own words, with no social theories imposed on their meanings, but instead a focus on how these students experience the world of interracial relationships, and how flawed, outdated laws and customs set limits on human relationships, and the long shadow they cast on learning, living and loving on university campuses to this day.
Jonathan Jansen is die voormalige Rektor van die Universiteit van die Vrystaat, met 'n formidabele reputasie vir transformasie en 'n diepgewortelde verbintenis tot versoening in gemeenskappe wat met die erfenis van apartheid saamleef. In hierdie boek, Jansen se persoonlikste en mees intieme boek tot op hede, daag Suid-Afrika se geliefde professor die stereotipes en stigma uit wat so maklik op Kaapse Vlakte-ma's van toepassing gemaak word as luidrugtig, wellustig en sonder tande – en bied hy diť deernisvolle verhaal aan as 'n lofsang vir ma's oral wat op moeilike plekke gesinne moet grootmaak en gemeenskappe moet bou.
As jong man het Jansen gewonder hoe ma's dit regkry om kinders onder moeilike omstandighede groot te maak – en toe besef die antwoord is reg voor hom in die vorm van Sarah Jansen, sy eie ma. Deur haar vroeŽ lewe in Montagu en die gevolge van apartheid se gedwonge verskuiwings na te speur, werp Jansen lig op hoe sterk vroue nie slegs daarin geslaag het om gesinne bymekaar te hou nie, maar hulle kinders ook met integriteit groot te maak.
Met sy kenmerkende fynsinnigheid, humor en eerlikheid, volg Jansen sy ma se lewensverhaal as 'n jong verpleegster en ma van vyf kinders, en wys hy hoe diť ma's hulle verlede verwerk het, hulle huise ingerig het, sin gemaak het van die politiek, die liefde bestuur en kernwaardes gekommunikeer het – hoe hulle hulle lewens gelei het. Om sy eie herinneringe te balanseer, het Jansen hom op sy suster, Naomi, beroep om haar eie insigte en herinneringe te deel, en daardeur spesiale waarde tot hierdie roerende memoir toe te voeg.
Jonathan Jansen is the former Vice Chancellor of the University of the Free State, with a formidable reputation for transformation and for a deep commitment to reconciliation in communities living with the heritage of apartheid. In this, Jansen’s most personal and intimate book to date, South Africa’s beloved professor contemplates the stereotypes and stigma so readily applied to Cape Flats mothers as bawdy, lusty and gap-toothed – and offers this endearing antidote as a praise song to mothers everywhere who raise families and build communities in difficult places.
As a young man, Jansen questioned how mothers managed to raise children in trying circumstances – and then realised that the answer was right in front of him in the form of Sarah Jansen, his own mother. Tracing her early life in Montagu and the consequences of apartheid’s forced removals, Jansen unpacks how strong women managed to not only keep families together, but raise them with integrity.
With his trademark delicacy, humour and frankness, Jansen follows his mother’s life story as a young nurse and mother to five children, and shows how mothers dealt with their pasts, organised their homes, made sense of politics, managed affection, communicated core values – how they led their lives. As a balance to his own recollections, Jansen has called on his sister, Naomi, to offer her own insights and memories, adding special value to this touching personal memoir.
On 5 February 2014, world-renowned scientist Tim Noakes fired off a tweet allegedly dispensing dietary advice to a young mother into a highly volatile media space; the fallout threatened to destroy his career. This is the untold backstory.
Veteran journalist and writer Daryl Ilbury unveils, layer by layer, a combustible mix of scientific ignorance, academic jealousy, the collapse of media ethics, and the interests of a world-renowned scientist in highlighting the intricacies of human nutrition and exposing those he believes have vested interests in regulating it.
Featuring interviews with people who have worked closely with Noakes, including former Springbok coach Jake White and polar swimmer Lewis Gordon Pugh, as well as award-winning journalists and fellow scientists and academics, some of whom now consider Noakes dangerous and out of control, this book is bound to be as controversial as the man himself.
"Revealing and much needed." --Booklist In this unflinching, unforgettable memoir, Regina Louise tells the true story of overcoming neglect in the US foster-care system. Drawing on her experience as one of society's abandoned children, she tells how she emerged from the cruel, unjust system, not only to survive, but to flourish. After years of jumping from one fleeting, often abusive home to the next, Louise meets a counselor named Jeanne Kerr. For the first time in her young life, Louise knows what it means to be seen, wanted, understood, and loved. After Kerr tries unsuccessfully to adopt Louise, the two are ripped apart--seemingly forever--and Louise continues her passage through the cold cinder-block landscape of a broken system, enduring solitary confinement, overmedication, and the actions of adults who seem hell-bent on convincing her that she deserves nothing, that she is nothing. But instead of losing her will to thrive, Louise remains determined to achieve her dream of a higher education. After she ages out of the system, Louise is thrown into adulthood and, haunted by her trauma, struggles to finish school, build a career, and develop relationships. As she puts it, it felt impossible "to understand how to be in the world." Eventually, Louise learns how to confront her past and reflect on her traumas. She starts writing, quite literally, a new future for herself, a new way to be. Louise weaves together raw, sometimes fragmented memories, excerpts from real documents from her case file, and elegant reflections to tell the story of her painful upbringing and what came after. The result is a rich, engrossing account of one abandoned girl's efforts to find her place in the world, people to love, and people to love her back.
People have been sharing their life stories with psychologist Allison Keating for the past eighteen years, and the words she hears most often are `I feel overwhelmed,' followed by `I thought I'd have it figured out by now.' Adulthood is tough. As we try to divide ourselves between our partner, children, parents, siblings, friends and colleagues, it is no wonder we can feel overwhelmed, often neglecting the most important relationship of all - the one we have with ourselves. The Secret Lives of Adults invites you to audit and improve your seven key relationships, looking at how your past has influenced who you are today. ASK YOURSELF Is there a big gap between your public and private self? What are your expectations of others and of yourself? Do you understand why you react to certain comments? Do you repeat patterns of behaviour in your relationships? The Secret Lives of Adults has exercises and techniques to help you understand why you behave as you do in each part of your life, allowing you to unlock the secret to less stressful and more meaningful relationships. `Allison Keating gives us the tools to be in control of our own minds and actions, and most importantly, take back our lives.' Cecelia Ahern
This bestselling marriage and family text combines a rigorous scholarly and applied approach with a unique theme especially relevant to today's dynamic global environment: "Making choices in a diverse society." The text achieves an excellent balance between the sociological and ecological or family systems theoretical perspectives, while including extensive coverage of family dynamics and interpersonal relationships. The authors use warmth, humor, and an engaging presentation to create a highly readable text that offers insightful perspectives on the diversity of our modern society, including different ethnic traditions and marriage and family alternatives.
"A fast-paced debut... A candid, modern take on polyamory for fans of memoirs and graphic novels, and anyone interested in stories of dating, love, and romance." --Library Journal After trying for years to emulate her boomer parents' forty-year and still-going-strong marriage, Sophie realized that maybe the love she was looking for was down a road less traveled. In this bold, graphic memoir, she explores her sexuality, her values, and the versions of love our society accepts and practices. Along the way, she shares what it's like to play on Tinder side-by-side with your boyfriend, encounter--and surmount--many types of jealousy, learn the power of female friendship, and other amazing things that happened when she stopped looking for "the one." In a lot of ways, Many Love is Sophie's love letter to everyone she has ever cared for. Witty, insightful, and complete with illustrations, this debut provides a memorable glimpse into an unconventional life.
In some parts of South Africa, more than one in three people are HIV positive. Love in the Time of AIDS explores transformations in notions of gender and intimacy to try to understand the roots of this virulent epidemic. By living in an informal settlement and collecting love letters, cell phone text messages, oral histories, and archival materials, Mark Hunter details the everyday social inequalities that have resulted in untimely deaths. Hunter shows how first apartheid and then chronic unemployment have become entangled with ideas about femininity, masculinity, love, and sex and have created an economy of exchange that perpetuates the transmission of HIV/AIDS. This sobering ethnography challenges conventional understandings of HIV/AIDS in South Africa.
At eleven o' clock one night in 1997, four hungry, damaged young children arrive on foster carers Trisha and Mike Merry's doorstep. Two social workers dropped them off with nothing but the ragged clothes they were wearing and no information. The children were covered in bruises, two had black eyes, one had a broken arm and they were all scratching themselves. Starved, seriously neglected and abused in every way, four young siblings have been repeatedly overlooked by everyone who should have cared. The eldest scavenges for food by night and is exhausted from trying to protect his sisters, his baby brother and himself from serious parental neglect and the perilous attentions of frequent paedophile visitors. From the start, these four children challenge Trisha and Mike to extremes. Despite all their experience over many years, they wonder if they have met their match. Yet, from that very first night, this couple's unbounded love and care and their unbelievable determination surmount all the obstacles that follow. The shocking truth about the children's home lives is beyond anything Trish and Mike have experienced, yet through their formidable efforts, their unshakeable belief in the children, and their (almost) unfailing sense of humour, they are able to turn around four young lives from tragedy to hope.
It's late on Friday night when Casey's mobile starts to ring. She is expecting it to be her daughter Riley. But it isn't Riley. It's a woman from the Emergency Duty Team. So begins Casey and Mike's latest fostering challenge - a fifteen-year-old girl called Keeley who's run away from her long-term foster home 25 miles away. The Jonathan Ross Show has just started when Casey gets the call. She thinks it will be Riley - telling her that her favourite actor is going to be on TV. But it's something far more urgent: a fifteen-year-old girl who has run away from her foster family and accused her foster father of sexual abuse. The family deny in vehemently, but such an allegation can never be taken lightly, so a new home must be found for Keeley. Keeley is polite, but she's sharp, and she has all the hallmarks of a child who has been in the system a long time, and knows how to play it. Whether the allegation is true or not, Casey knows there will be no winners here. If it is true, then a young girl's life has been torn asunder. If not, then the heartache for the family will only be surpassed by the bleak outlook for Keeley. In the short term, it's a case of providing a safe, supportive home for a vulnerable child. But with the dangerous world of the internet at her disposal, it seems this strong-minded youngster has her own ideas of where that safe place should be...
The powerfully moving new novel from Sunday Times bestselling author, Maggie Hartley. Fourteen-year-old Shazia has been taken into care after a conversation at school leads her teacher to suspect that the teenager's family are planning to send her to Pakistan for an arranged marriage. To her family's fury, Shazia is sent to live with foster carer Maggie Hartley whilst social services investigate. But with Shazia denying everything and social services unable to find any evidence to support the teacher's fears, Shazia is allowed to return home. But a few weeks later, Maggie is woken up in the middle of the night by a phone call from a terrified Shazia, who has managed to escape the family home through a window. Sobbing, she confesses to Maggie that her parents are planning to send her to Pakistan to be married in a few days, and have threatened to kill her if she speaks out again. Returned to Maggie's care, Shazia is petrified that her parents will track her down and kill her, and Maggie must be on constant alert. But the worst is yet to come when it emerges that Shazia is the victim of FGM. Can Maggie help this damaged and traumatised young girl understand what has happened to her and to find a way to heal? In this new book, Maggie Hartley taps into the highly topical issues of FGM and arranged marriage, and presents a sensitive and unique insight into the effect these practices have on their young victims.
The eleventh memoir and latest title from the internationally bestselling author and foster carer Cathy Glass. This book tells the true story of Cathy's adopted daughter Lucy. Lucy was born to a single mother who had been abused and neglected for most of her own childhood. Right from the beginning Lucy's mother couldn't cope, but it wasn't until Lucy reached eight years old that she was finally taken into permanent foster care. By the time Lucy is brought to live with Cathy she is eleven years old and severely distressed after being moved from one foster home to another. Withdrawn, refusing to eat and three years behind in her schooling, it is thought that the damage Lucy has suffered is irreversible. But Cathy and her two children bond with Lucy quickly, and break through to Lucy in a way no-one else has been able to, finally showing her the loving home she never believed existed. Cathy and Lucy believe they were always destined to be mother and daughter - it just took them a little while to find each other.
After the death of the kind and wise Joseph, Jesus follows his calling. He bids farewell to his previous life as a sample carpenter. Jesus goes into the desert and is tempted by Satan. The tempter shows Jesus all the wrongs future generations will do in his name: wars of religion, crusades and witch burning. Jesus refuses to be tempted. Strengthened, he returns to the people. He has himself baptised by his friend John. He collects his first disciples. His miracles and unprecedented teaching attracts many followers. The Roman governor, Pontius Pilate, and advisor Livio, formulate plans to foil the troublemaker. Caiphas, the High Priest, is persuaded to call on the Romans to arrest Jesus and put hiaam on trial. In a terrible farce Jesus is finally sentenced to death by crucifixion. His followers don't understand why Jesus gives himself up to the Romans without resistance. His disciples, from fear of themselves being tried by the Romans, abandon Jesus in his hour of greatest need. Jesus must resist Satan's last, and hardest, temptation and complete his terrible sacrifice. Only when he appears, three days after his death, alive among his disciples do they understand that through his sacrifice Jesus has given mankind not sorrow and death but joy and hope.
The true story of 2 year-old Anna, abandoned by her natural parents, left alone in a neglected orphanage. Elaine and Ian had travelled half way round the world to adopt little Anna. She couldn't have been more wanted, loved and cherished. So why was she now in foster care and living with me? It didn't make sense. Until I learned what had happened. ... Dressed only in nappies and ragged T-shirts the children were incarcerated in their cots. Their large eyes stared out blankly from emaciated faces. Some were obviously disabled, others not, but all were badly undernourished. Flies circled around the broken ceiling fans and buzzed against the grids covering the windows. The only toys were a few balls and a handful of building bricks, but no child played with them. The silence was deafening and unnatural. Not one of the thirty or so infants cried, let alone spoke.
One hot summer's afternoon, two abandoned infants are brought to Trisha and Mike Merry's door, forlorn and afraid. Their mother walked out on them. (They don't remember her.) Their grandmother tried, but couldn't manage them. And now their young father has given up on them too. These cast-off kids desperately need somewhere to live and a family to love them. They've come to the right place. Trisha and Mike welcome them into their home and their hearts. There are now ten children under five in this household, where every day is filled with cuddles, fun . . . and more than a few challenges. After ten eventful years of love and laughter, they are reclaimed by their jealous mother, a stranger, who sets fire to their memories and sends them to a succession of care homes. Finally the younger one sets out on a quest to find the only two people who have ever loved him.
A 2015 survey of twenty-seven elite colleges found that twenty-three percent of respondents reported personal experiences of sexual misconduct on their campuses. That figure has not changed since the 1980s, when people first began collecting data on sexual violence. What has changed is the level of attention that the American public is paying to these statistics. Reports of sexual abuse repeatedly make headlines, and universities are scrambling to address the crisis. Their current strategy, Donna Freitas argues, is wholly inadequate. Universities must take a radically different approach to educating their campus communities about sexual assault and consent. Consent education is often a one-time affair, devised by overburdened student affairs officers. Universities seem more focused on insulating themselves from lawsuits and scandals than on bringing about real change. What is needed, Freitas shows, is an effort by the entire university community to deal with the deeper questions about sex, ethics, values, and how we treat one another, including facing up to the perils of hookup culture-and to do so in the university's most important space: the classroom. We need to offer more than a section in the student handbook about sexual assault, and expand our education around consent far beyond "Yes Means Yes." We need to transform our campuses into places where consent is genuinely valued. Freitas advocates for teaching not just how to consent, but why it's important to care about consent and to treat one's sexual partners with dignity and respect. Consent on Campus is a call to action for university administrators, faculty, parents, and students themselves, urging them to create cultures of consent on their campuses, and offering a blueprint for how to do it.
Demographics just got a lot more interesting, thanks to this book's compelling writing and intriguing essays. POPULATION does more than give you information; it also shows you how to use it. From the debate over how to rebuild the Gulf Coast after Hurricane Katrina to what should be done about Social Security and Medicare, POPULATION lets you apply the research yourself.
Completely revised and expanded from four to five volumes, this new edition of the Handbook of Parenting appears at a time that is momentous in the history of parenting. Parenting and the family are today in a greater state of flux, question, and redefinition than perhaps ever before. We are witnessing the emergence of striking permutations on the theme of parenting: blended families, lesbian and gay parents, and teen versus fifties first-time moms and dads. One cannot but be awed on the biological front by technology that now not only renders postmenopausal women capable of childbearing, but also presents us with the possibility of designing babies. Similarly on the sociological front, single parenthood is a modern day fact of life, adult child dependency is on the rise, and parents are ever less certain of their own roles, even in the face of rising environmental and institutional demands that they take increasing responsibility for their offspring. The Handbook of Parenting concerns itself with: *different types of parents--mothers and fathers, single, adolescent, and adoptive parents; *basic characteristics of parenting--behaviors, knowledge, beliefs, and expectations about parenting; *forces that shape parenting--evolution, genetics, biology, employment, social class, culture, environment, and history; *problems faced by parents--handicap, marital difficulties, drug addiction; and *practical concerns of parenting--how to promote children's health, foster social adjustment and cognitive competence, and interact with school, legal, and public officials. Contributors to the Handbook of Parenting have worked in different ways toward understanding all these diverse aspects of parenting, and all look to the most recent research and thinking in the field to shed light on many topics every parent wonders about. Each chapter addresses a different but central topic in parenting; each is rooted in current thinking and theory, as well as classical and modern research in that topic; each has been written to be read and absorbed in a single sitting. In addition, each chapter follows a standard organization, including an introduction to the chapter as a whole, followed by historical considerations of the topic, a discussion of central issues and theory, a review of classical and modern research, forecasts of future directions of theory and research, and a set of conclusions. Of course, contributors' own convictions and research are considered, but contributions to this new edition present all major points of view and central lines of inquiry and interpret them broadly. The Handbook of Parenting is intended to be both comprehensive and state of the art. As the expanded scope of this second edition amply shows, parenting is naturally and closely allied with many other fields.
By turns informative and irreverent this book takes a new approach to tackling gender inequality in the home and at work, focusing on dads being entitled to a bigger role in parenting. It presents the barriers men face to being active dads - from sexist security guards to Tory MPs and even Homer Simpson - and, crucially, it outlines how to tackle them for the good of men, women and children. In Dads Don't Babysit two dads outline some of the biggest problems facing families that want dad to get his turn at raising the kids, and offer a range of solutions in a manifesto for parents and policy makers to consider and hopefully adopt. The book tackles topics such as the gender pay gap, lack of a strong parental leave system in the UK, the financial penalties of taking time off to look after children and the limiting expectations parents find colleagues, relatives and the media have on mums and dads. The authors draw on their own experience of parenting and that of others. Interviews are backed up by extensive research so that the book presents these important issues in an accessible, personal and at times light-hearted way that the apolitical reader will be able to relate to. There is a lively and growing argument about men's role in the 21st century and this book offers a unique perspective, giving a feminist argument by men offering solutions to benefit everyone.
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