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Khamr: The Makings Of A Waterslams is a true story that maps the author’s experience of living with an alcoholic father and the direct conflict of having to perform a Muslim life that taught him that nearly everything he called home was forbidden.
A detailed account from his childhood to early adulthood, Jamil F. Khan lays bare the experience of living in a so-called middle-class Coloured home in a neighbourhood called Bernadino Heights in Kraaifontein, a suburb to the north of Cape Town. His memories are overwhelmed by the constant discord that was created by the chaos and dysfunction of his alcoholic home and a co-dependent relationship with his mother, while trying to manage the daily routine of his parents keeping up appearances and him maintaining scholastic excellence.
Khan’s memories are clear and detailed, which in turn is complemented by his scholarly thinking and analysis of those memories. He interrogates the intersections of Islam, Colouredness and the hypocrisy of respectability as well as the effect perceived class status has on these social realities in simple yet incisive language, giving the reader more than just a memoir of pain and suffering.
Khan says about his debut book: "This is not a story for the romanticisation of pain and perseverance, although it tells of overcoming many difficulties. It is a critique of secret violence in faith communities and families, and the hypocrisy that has damaged so many people still looking for a place and way to voice their trauma. This is a critique of the value placed on ritual and culture at the expense of human life and well-being, and the far-reaching consequences of systems of oppression dressed up as tradition."
'I was made in Coffee Bay. Right there on the beach, in the sand.'
From the opening lines, we are drawn in and engrossed by this startling memoir of a singular childhood. Suzan is adopted as a newborn in the late 1960s into a seemingly loving and welcoming family living in Pietermaritzburg. But Suzan is set on a collision course with, most particularly, her adoptive mother, and society, from her very beginning. Suzan's relationship with her mother is fraught with drama, which veers over into a level of emotional abuse and needless cruelty that is shocking.
At the age of thirteen, Suzan is sent to a place of safety as a ward of the state, effectively 'orphaning' her. From there, she spirals out of control – fighting to survive in a world of other neglected, abandoned and abused children. She becomes a 'runner', escaping at every opportunity from her various places of confinement, grabbing her schooling in snatches, living on the edges of a drug and prostitution underworld, finding love wherever she can.
Suzan’s young life was the stuff of movies, but it is her writing, in a voice that is unforgettable and true, that transforms her memories into something magical rarely matched in South African literature. A new classic.
Jonathan Jansen is die voormalige Rektor van die Universiteit van die Vrystaat, met 'n formidabele reputasie vir transformasie en 'n diepgewortelde verbintenis tot versoening in gemeenskappe wat met die erfenis van apartheid saamleef. In hierdie boek, Jansen se persoonlikste en mees intieme boek tot op hede, daag Suid-Afrika se geliefde professor die stereotipes en stigma uit wat so maklik op Kaapse Vlakte-ma's van toepassing gemaak word as luidrugtig, wellustig en sonder tande – en bied hy diť deernisvolle verhaal aan as 'n lofsang vir ma's oral wat op moeilike plekke gesinne moet grootmaak en gemeenskappe moet bou.
As jong man het Jansen gewonder hoe ma's dit regkry om kinders onder moeilike omstandighede groot te maak – en toe besef die antwoord is reg voor hom in die vorm van Sarah Jansen, sy eie ma. Deur haar vroeŽ lewe in Montagu en die gevolge van apartheid se gedwonge verskuiwings na te speur, werp Jansen lig op hoe sterk vroue nie slegs daarin geslaag het om gesinne bymekaar te hou nie, maar hulle kinders ook met integriteit groot te maak.
Met sy kenmerkende fynsinnigheid, humor en eerlikheid, volg Jansen sy ma se lewensverhaal as 'n jong verpleegster en ma van vyf kinders, en wys hy hoe diť ma's hulle verlede verwerk het, hulle huise ingerig het, sin gemaak het van die politiek, die liefde bestuur en kernwaardes gekommunikeer het – hoe hulle hulle lewens gelei het. Om sy eie herinneringe te balanseer, het Jansen hom op sy suster, Naomi, beroep om haar eie insigte en herinneringe te deel, en daardeur spesiale waarde tot hierdie roerende memoir toe te voeg.
Jonathan Jansen is the former Vice Chancellor of the University of the Free State, with a formidable reputation for transformation and for a deep commitment to reconciliation in communities living with the heritage of apartheid. In this, Jansen’s most personal and intimate book to date, South Africa’s beloved professor contemplates the stereotypes and stigma so readily applied to Cape Flats mothers as bawdy, lusty and gap-toothed – and offers this endearing antidote as a praise song to mothers everywhere who raise families and build communities in difficult places.
As a young man, Jansen questioned how mothers managed to raise children in trying circumstances – and then realised that the answer was right in front of him in the form of Sarah Jansen, his own mother. Tracing her early life in Montagu and the consequences of apartheid’s forced removals, Jansen unpacks how strong women managed to not only keep families together, but raise them with integrity.
With his trademark delicacy, humour and frankness, Jansen follows his mother’s life story as a young nurse and mother to five children, and shows how mothers dealt with their pasts, organised their homes, made sense of politics, managed affection, communicated core values – how they led their lives. As a balance to his own recollections, Jansen has called on his sister, Naomi, to offer her own insights and memories, adding special value to this touching personal memoir.
Can racism and intimacy co-exist? Can love and friendship form and flourish across South Africa’s imposed colour lines?
Who better to engage on the subject of hazardous liaisons than the students with whom Jonathan Jansen served over seven years as Vice Chancellor of the University of the Free State. The context is the University campus in Bloemfontein, the City of Roses, the Mississippi of South Africa. Rural, agricultural, insular, religious and conservative, this is not a place for breaking out. But over the years, Jansen observed shifts in campus life and noticed more and more openly interracial friendships and couples, and he began having conversations with these students with burning questions in mind.
Ten interracial couples tell their stories of love and friendship in their own words, with no social theories imposed on their meanings, but instead a focus on how these students experience the world of interracial relationships, and how flawed, outdated laws and customs set limits on human relationships, and the long shadow they cast on learning, living and loving on university campuses to this day.
Across the world, 2 billion people experience menstruation, yet menstruation is seen as a mark of shame. We are told not to discuss it in public, that tampons and sanitary pads should be hidden away, the blood rendered invisible. In many parts of the world, poverty, culture and religion collide causing the taboo around menstruation to have grave consequences. Younger people who menstruate are deterred from going to school, adults from work, infections are left untreated. The shame is universal and the silence a global rule. In It's Only Blood Anna Dahlqvist tells the shocking but always moving stories of why and how people from Sweden to Bangladesh, from the United States to Uganda, are fighting back against the shame.
A transformative guide to building more fulfilling relationships with
colleagues, friends, partners, and family, based on the landmark
Interpersonal Dynamics ("Touchy Feely") course at Stanford's Graduate
School of Business
How much sex should a person have? With whom? What do we make of people who choose not to have sex at all? As present as these questions are today, they were subjects of intense debate in the early American republic. In this richly textured history, Kara French investigates ideas about, and practices of, sexual restraint to better understand the sexual dimensions of American identity in the antebellum United States. French considers three groups of Americans-Shakers, Catholic priests and nuns, and followers of sexual reformer Sylvester Graham-whose sexual abstinence provoked almost as much social, moral, and political concern as the idea of sexual excess. Examining private diaries and letters, visual culture and material artifacts, and a range of published works, French reveals how people practicing sexual restraint became objects of fascination, ridicule, and even violence in nineteenth-century American culture. Against Sex makes clear that in assessing the history of sexuality, an expansive view of sexual practice that includes abstinence and restraint can shed important new light on histories of society, culture, and politics.
This award-winning text treats family diversity as the norm, while highlighting how race, class, gender, and sexuality produce varieties of familial relationships. Diversity in Families looks at families not as "building blocks of societies" but rather, as products of social forces within society. The authors undertake a critical examination of society, asking questions such as, "How do families really work?" and "Who benefits under the existing arrangements, and who does not?" Their goal is to demystify and demythologize the family by exposing existing myths, stereotypes, and dogmas.
For undergraduate courses in the sociology of the family. Focuses on studying the family through a sociological lens. Families and Their Social Worlds discusses how the family is viewed on a macro level, by examining policies in place and how those policies impact families. The author encourages students to think about families beyond their own personal experiences, and even beyond family structure in the United States. Her goal is to impart a passion for critical thinking as students see that families exist within social worlds. Important policy considerations are imbedded in each chapter to illustrate what is currently being done, and perhaps even more importantly, what can be done to strengthen families and intimate relationships.
Human Sexuality, Third Edition, helps students develop and design their own sexual philosophy. Every chapter begins with actual student questions from the author's files during nearly 20 years of teaching the human sexuality course. Throughout each chapter the questions are answered and new ones are posed--encouraging students to think critically, analyze, and apply the material in personally relevant ways. Hock takes a psychosocial approach, infused with biological foundations throughout the text. The book focuses on topics that are most critical and of greatest relevance to students' personal lives and their interactions with others, and on how these topics affect them emotionally, psychologically, and interpersonally. This student-centered approach is incorporated into the text's discussions of all areas of sexuality: psychological, social and biological (including medical issues, sexual health, sexual anatomy and sexual physiology). Sensitivity to diverse groups, not only in terms of race and ethnicity, but also in terms if sexual orientation, age, sexual knowledge, and sexual experience allows all students to feel as comfortable and open about sexual topics as possible.
For an introductory course serving pre-service early childhood educators, childcare providers, and social workers Presenting the how-tos of nurturing and protecting children in a community context The sixth edition of Child, Family, and Community: Family-Centered Early Care and Education continues to inform readers on effective home-school communication, strategies for family and community involvement, and socialization and education of young children in home, child care, and educational contexts. As before, the book examines developmental theory (particularly ecological systems theory) and adds diverse perspectives from a base of solid academics, constructivist theory, and the author's own experience. In addition, the sixth edition is written to and provides concrete strategies for a broader audience to better meet the needs of aspiring professionals of all types including educators, social workers, and parents. The theme of the revision is advocacy and new Advocacy in Action features present personal stories of well known professionals who have made a difference in the lives of others. This new edition will truly inspire readers to become advocates themselves to improve the lives of children and families, education, and society.
Parents as Partners in Education, Eighth Edition, is uniquely the most comprehensive book on the market covering the history of family/school collaboration, current issues and population trends affecting American schools and communities, diverse family structures, and techniques for establishing connections with parents and encouraging involvement with their child's learning. Based on the notion of funds of knowledge, the knowledge that children acquire from their families, this best-selling textbook helps the reader differentiate between culture and diversity as they relate to culturally and linguistically diverse families. This edition, with a new co-author, emphasizes on understanding families' funds of knowledge, discusses culturally relevant pedagogy to work with families and children, particularly those who are English language learners and/or immigrants, and provides an expanded section on working with families who have children with autism. A special focus on culturally and linguistically diverse children with special needs is a remarkable aspect of the book. Key additions and changes to this edition include: * more practical ideas and tips for teachers on how to work with culturally and linguistically diverse children and their families in a classroom setting; * applicable information on how to build parent involvement programs; * strategies for working with culturally diverse students who have Autism Spectrum Disorder and their families; * emphasis on the value of pre-school and pre-K programs * methods for working with English Language Learners and their families, including a section on second language acquisition. Rooted in the premise that once educators understand the value of families for healthy development they can begin to create strong partnerships to assist children in successful experiences in school. Parents as Partners in Education: Families and Schools Working Together, Eighth Edition will be a key component to teachers gaining this knowledge and using it in the classroom for the betterment of all children and their families.
On Valentine's Day in 1981, a fire in the Stardust nightclub in Dublin killed 48 young people, and left behind one orphan, Lisa Lawlor. Now, on the 40th anniversary, Lisa tells her story of the tragic events of that evening and how they have shaped her life. She was just seventeen months old when the Stardust nightclub went up in flames. Her parents, Francis and Maureen Lawlor, were a young couple very much in love. Since Lisa's birth, they rarely went out at night, but this time they allowed a friend to persuade them to go for a few drinks at the Stardust. They never came home. In the wake of the disaster, Lisa's paternal grandparents stepped in and took care of her. Throughout her childhood, they tried to fill the gaping hole in her life with gifts, but nothing really helped - and inevitably resentment started to simmer in the extended family. As several members of her family succumbed to addiction and crime, she suffered abuse and struggled to find her own path. Stardust Baby is the heart-breaking story of a woman whose every waking moment has taken place in the shadow of those awful flames and of an extended family that toppled into dysfunction in the overwhelming face of tragedy. It is also an uplifting story of resilience, hope, love and determination - as, despite it all, Lisa found the strength to carry on, for herself and her children. A percentage of the royalties from sales of the book will be donated to the Stardust campaign.
After moving to a humble cottage outside of a tiny Texas town, Debra Monroe rids herself of an abusive husband, battles sexist contractors and workers as she renovates her home, and finally, after several disheartening letdowns, is able to adopt her beautiful baby daughter, Marie. Though elated that her dream is coming true, Monroe faces trials that befall her not just as a single mother but as a white mother of a black child. In On the Outskirts of Normal, two-time National Book Award nominee Monroe's heart creaks "like china with hairline cracks" each time a racist comment rolls their way or stares linger a little too long in their direction. Though she and her daughter face serious undiagnosed illnesses leading to innumerable, painful doctor visits, Monroe remains steadfast in her dedication toMarie and their small but tight family. Reading On the Outskirts of Normal at times feels like driving through an unwieldy thunderstorm at night on the unlit country roads that snake their way to Monroe's house in the woods; readers will feel her exhaustion but will be buoyed by her ever-present faith and fiery love. Pulitzer Prize winner Madeleine Blais writes that On the Outskirts of Normal is the "real deal: both a literary triumph and a triumph of the heart.
The true story of 2 year-old Anna, abandoned by her natural parents, left alone in a neglected orphanage. Elaine and Ian had travelled half way round the world to adopt little Anna. She couldn't have been more wanted, loved and cherished. So why was she now in foster care and living with me? It didn't make sense. Until I learned what had happened. ... Dressed only in nappies and ragged T-shirts the children were incarcerated in their cots. Their large eyes stared out blankly from emaciated faces. Some were obviously disabled, others not, but all were badly undernourished. Flies circled around the broken ceiling fans and buzzed against the grids covering the windows. The only toys were a few balls and a handful of building bricks, but no child played with them. The silence was deafening and unnatural. Not one of the thirty or so infants cried, let alone spoke.
Ashley is a young single mum raising her daughter, Eden, and working hard to do the very best job she can - until one night she can't find a babysitter and makes the decision to leave Eden home alone for a couple of hours, asleep inside a wardrobe. It is an action that begins a terrible downward spiral for both of them. When Eden arrives at experienced foster carer Louise Allen's home, she has entered the care system because her mother is in prison. Eden is five years old and will not speak to any human. She begins exhibiting some other disturbing behaviours alongside the mutism, too, including torturing the family pets she loves. This eventually leads Louise to discover the pain and tragic reality behind Eden's Story.
In the popular imagination, the twenty years after World War II are associated with simpler, happier, more family-focused living. We think of stereotypical baby boom families like the Cleavers--white, suburban, and well on their way to middle-class affluence. For these couples and their children, a happy, stable family life provided an antidote to the anxieties and uncertainties of the emerging nuclear age.
But not everyone looked or lived like the Cleavers. For those who could not have children, or have as many children as they wanted, the postwar baby boom proved a source of social stigma and personal pain. Further, in 1950 roughly one in three Americans made below middle-class incomes, and over fifteen million lived under Jim Crow segregation. For these individuals, home life was not an oasis but a challenge, intimately connected to the era's many political and social upheavals.
"Everybody Else" provides a comparative analysis of diverse postwar families and examines the lives and case records of men and women who applied to adopt or provide pre-adoptive foster care in the 1940s and 1950s. It considers an array of individuals--both black and white, middle and working class--who found themselves on the margins of a social world that privileged family membership. These couples wanted adoptive and foster children in order to achieve a sense of personal mission and meaning, as well as a deeper feeling of belonging to their communities. But their quest for parenthood also highlighted the many inequities of that era. These individuals' experiences seeking children reveal that the baby boom family was about much more than "togetherness" or a quiet house in the suburbs; it also shaped people's ideas about the promises and perils of getting ahead in postwar America.
The Sexual Revolution, which has been underway since the 1950s, is a rolling revolution-a set of unfinishable ambitions, all affecting marriage and family life. Feminists want to "liberate" women from childrearing as well as the home and build a world "beyond gender"; progressives aspire to build a society where human beings can choose their natures; and sexual liberation theorists would take human beings "beyond repression." These ideologies have sunk deeply into our culture and our political regime. It is well past time to ask the uncomfortable questions about whether these ideologies betray human nature and undermine human happiness. The Recovery of Family Life defends marriage and family life while exposing the limits and blind spots in these powerful revolutionary ideologies. After suggesting a general framework within which to understand the ends and means of family policy, Scott Yenor explores what a liberal society should seek to accomplish in marriage and family policy. The framework is applied to some of today's most important public policy debates on such controversial topics as gay rights, pornography, population decline, women's equality, rape law, the age of consent, and welfare state politics. Those advocating for the rolling revolution often point toward necessary reforms, but they offer an incomplete picture of human flourishing. In an attempt to recover a healthier vision of life, Yenor asks that those already resisting the rolling revolution evaluate their own assumptions and aims anew: advocates on both sides of the partisan aisle stand at risk of operating with truncated narratives. Public policy can be an important tool to help the resistance, but only if informed by a deeper vision in which marriage and family fit into the broader political regime. The Recovery of Family Life combines a focus on first principles with practical advice for lawmakers about how to undo the damage our policies have done.
'No matter how bad things are, Molloy tells those afflicted by neglect, there is always hope. And with hope, there is the possibility to heal and to build a new and better kind of life' Lancashire Evening Post Following on from her previous bestselling books, Hackney Child and Tainted Love, written under the name Hope Daniels, which told the stories of kids in children's homes who fought against the odds in their struggle to survive, Jenny Molloy's book Neglected gives harrowing accounts of what happens when children fall in love with the wrong people, and how the role of social workers in their lives can bring them back to an understanding of what love really means. Readers will be introduced to several brave and inspirational children: Jemma, taken into care after her father tried to kill her; Angelika, abandoned by her mother, ending up in a criminal gang; Emma, whose life spiralled out of control after her mother's sudden death. Neglected explores these stories and more, ultimately aiming to answer the question: how can the circle of neglect be broken? Praise for Hope Daniels' other books 'Raw and absorbing' Grazia 'Refreshingly honest ... It will touch your heart' UK Fostering
This book challenges prevailing assumptions about family, courts of law, and the nature of modernity in Muslim societies against the backdrop of Haifa and Jaffa during ""the long nineteenth century"". The popular image of the family and the court of law in Muslim societies is one of traditional, unchanging social frameworks. Iris Agmon suggests an entirely different view, grounded in a detailed study of nineteenth-century Ottoman court records from the flourishing Palestinian port cities of Haifa and Jaffa. She depicts the Sharia Muslim court of law as a dynamic institution, capable of adapting to rapid and profound social changes - indeed, of playing an active role in generating these changes. Court and family interact and transform themselves, each other, and the society of which they form part. Agmon's book is a significant contribution to scholarship on both family history and legal culture in the social history of the Middle East.
In some parts of South Africa, more than one in three people are HIV positive. Love in the Time of AIDS explores transformations in notions of gender and intimacy to try to understand the roots of this virulent epidemic. By living in an informal settlement and collecting love letters, cell phone text messages, oral histories, and archival materials, Mark Hunter details the everyday social inequalities that have resulted in untimely deaths. Hunter shows how first apartheid and then chronic unemployment have become entangled with ideas about femininity, masculinity, love, and sex and have created an economy of exchange that perpetuates the transmission of HIV/AIDS. This sobering ethnography challenges conventional understandings of HIV/AIDS in South Africa.
Native feminist scholars focus on intimate Arab familiar relationships and discuss gendering of the self in the Arab community. In biographical and autobiographical, ethnographical, and literary accounts, they identify key family relationships and explore them in terms of shaping and defining gender in relation to others.
At eleven o' clock one night in 1997, four hungry, damaged young children arrive on foster carers Trisha and Mike Merry's doorstep. Two social workers dropped them off with nothing but the ragged clothes they were wearing and no information. The children were covered in bruises, two had black eyes, one had a broken arm and they were all scratching themselves. Starved, seriously neglected and abused in every way, four young siblings have been repeatedly overlooked by everyone who should have cared. The eldest scavenges for food by night and is exhausted from trying to protect his sisters, his baby brother and himself from serious parental neglect and the perilous attentions of frequent paedophile visitors. From the start, these four children challenge Trisha and Mike to extremes. Despite all their experience over many years, they wonder if they have met their match. Yet, from that very first night, this couple's unbounded love and care and their unbelievable determination surmount all the obstacles that follow. The shocking truth about the children's home lives is beyond anything Trish and Mike have experienced, yet through their formidable efforts, their unshakeable belief in the children, and their (almost) unfailing sense of humour, they are able to turn around four young lives from tragedy to hope.
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