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Khamr: The Makings Of A Waterslams is a true story that maps the author’s experience of living with an alcoholic father and the direct conflict of having to perform a Muslim life that taught him that nearly everything he called home was forbidden.
A detailed account from his childhood to early adulthood, Jamil F. Khan lays bare the experience of living in a so-called middle-class Coloured home in a neighbourhood called Bernadino Heights in Kraaifontein, a suburb to the north of Cape Town. His memories are overwhelmed by the constant discord that was created by the chaos and dysfunction of his alcoholic home and a co-dependent relationship with his mother, while trying to manage the daily routine of his parents keeping up appearances and him maintaining scholastic excellence.
Khan’s memories are clear and detailed, which in turn is complemented by his scholarly thinking and analysis of those memories. He interrogates the intersections of Islam, Colouredness and the hypocrisy of respectability as well as the effect perceived class status has on these social realities in simple yet incisive language, giving the reader more than just a memoir of pain and suffering.
Khan says about his debut book: "This is not a story for the romanticisation of pain and perseverance, although it tells of overcoming many difficulties. It is a critique of secret violence in faith communities and families, and the hypocrisy that has damaged so many people still looking for a place and way to voice their trauma. This is a critique of the value placed on ritual and culture at the expense of human life and well-being, and the far-reaching consequences of systems of oppression dressed up as tradition."
Jonathan Jansen is die voormalige Rektor van die Universiteit van die Vrystaat, met 'n formidabele reputasie vir transformasie en 'n diepgewortelde verbintenis tot versoening in gemeenskappe wat met die erfenis van apartheid saamleef. In hierdie boek, Jansen se persoonlikste en mees intieme boek tot op hede, daag Suid-Afrika se geliefde professor die stereotipes en stigma uit wat so maklik op Kaapse Vlakte-ma's van toepassing gemaak word as luidrugtig, wellustig en sonder tande – en bied hy diť deernisvolle verhaal aan as 'n lofsang vir ma's oral wat op moeilike plekke gesinne moet grootmaak en gemeenskappe moet bou.
As jong man het Jansen gewonder hoe ma's dit regkry om kinders onder moeilike omstandighede groot te maak – en toe besef die antwoord is reg voor hom in die vorm van Sarah Jansen, sy eie ma. Deur haar vroeŽ lewe in Montagu en die gevolge van apartheid se gedwonge verskuiwings na te speur, werp Jansen lig op hoe sterk vroue nie slegs daarin geslaag het om gesinne bymekaar te hou nie, maar hulle kinders ook met integriteit groot te maak.
Met sy kenmerkende fynsinnigheid, humor en eerlikheid, volg Jansen sy ma se lewensverhaal as 'n jong verpleegster en ma van vyf kinders, en wys hy hoe diť ma's hulle verlede verwerk het, hulle huise ingerig het, sin gemaak het van die politiek, die liefde bestuur en kernwaardes gekommunikeer het – hoe hulle hulle lewens gelei het. Om sy eie herinneringe te balanseer, het Jansen hom op sy suster, Naomi, beroep om haar eie insigte en herinneringe te deel, en daardeur spesiale waarde tot hierdie roerende memoir toe te voeg.
Jonathan Jansen is the former Vice Chancellor of the University of the Free State, with a formidable reputation for transformation and for a deep commitment to reconciliation in communities living with the heritage of apartheid. In this, Jansen’s most personal and intimate book to date, South Africa’s beloved professor contemplates the stereotypes and stigma so readily applied to Cape Flats mothers as bawdy, lusty and gap-toothed – and offers this endearing antidote as a praise song to mothers everywhere who raise families and build communities in difficult places.
As a young man, Jansen questioned how mothers managed to raise children in trying circumstances – and then realised that the answer was right in front of him in the form of Sarah Jansen, his own mother. Tracing her early life in Montagu and the consequences of apartheid’s forced removals, Jansen unpacks how strong women managed to not only keep families together, but raise them with integrity.
With his trademark delicacy, humour and frankness, Jansen follows his mother’s life story as a young nurse and mother to five children, and shows how mothers dealt with their pasts, organised their homes, made sense of politics, managed affection, communicated core values – how they led their lives. As a balance to his own recollections, Jansen has called on his sister, Naomi, to offer her own insights and memories, adding special value to this touching personal memoir.
'No matter how bad things are, Molloy tells those afflicted by neglect, there is always hope. And with hope, there is the possibility to heal and to build a new and better kind of life' Lancashire Evening Post Following on from her previous bestselling books, Hackney Child and Tainted Love, written under the name Hope Daniels, which told the stories of kids in children's homes who fought against the odds in their struggle to survive, Jenny Molloy's book Neglected gives harrowing accounts of what happens when children fall in love with the wrong people, and how the role of social workers in their lives can bring them back to an understanding of what love really means. Readers will be introduced to several brave and inspirational children: Jemma, taken into care after her father tried to kill her; Angelika, abandoned by her mother, ending up in a criminal gang; Emma, whose life spiralled out of control after her mother's sudden death. Neglected explores these stories and more, ultimately aiming to answer the question: how can the circle of neglect be broken? Praise for Hope Daniels' other books 'Raw and absorbing' Grazia 'Refreshingly honest ... It will touch your heart' UK Fostering
Popular discussions of professional women often dwell on the conflicts faced by the woman who attempts to ""have it all"", raising children while climbing up the corporate ladder. Yet for all the articles and books written on this subject, there has been little work that focuses on the experience of African American professional women or asks how their perspectives on work-family balance might be unique. Raising the Race is the first scholarly book to examine how black, married career women juggle their relationships with their extended and nuclear families, the expectations of the black community, and their desires to raise healthy, independent children. Drawing from extensive interviews with twenty-three Atlanta-based professional women who left or modified careers as attorneys, physicians, executives, and administrators, anthropologist Riche J. Daniel Barnes found that their decisions were deeply rooted in an awareness of black women's historical struggles. Departing from the possessive individualistic discourse of ""having it all"", the women profiled here think beyond their own situation - considering ways their decisions might help the entire black community. Giving a voice to women whose perspectives have been underrepresented in debates about work-family balance, Barnes's profiles enable us to perceive these women as fully fledged individuals, each with her own concerns and priorities. Yet Barnes is also able to locate many common themes from these black women's experiences, and uses them to propose policy initiatives that would improve the work and family lives of all Americans.
During the past ten years, legal and political changes in the
United States have dramatically altered the legalization process
for millions of undocumented immigrants and their families. Faced
with fewer legalization options, immigrants without legal status
and their supporters have organized around the concept of the
family as a political subject--a political subject with its rights
violated by immigration laws.
Amigas y Amantes (Friends and Lovers) explores the experiences of sexually nonconforming Latinas in the creation and maintenance of families. It is based on forty-two in-depth ethnographic interviews with women who identify as lesbian, bisexual, or queer (LBQ). Additionally, it draws from fourteen months of participant observation at LBQ Latina events that Katie L. Acosta conducted in 2007 and 2008 in a major northeast city. With this data, Acosta examines how LBQ Latinas manage loving relationships with the families who raised them, and with their partners, their children, and their friends. Acosta investigates how sexually nonconforming Latinas negotiate cultural expectations, combat compulsory heterosexuality, and reconcile tensions with their families. She offers a new way of thinking about the emotion work involved in everyday lives, which highlights the informal, sometimes invisible, labour required in preserving family ties. Acosta contends that the work LBQ Latinas take on to preserve connections with biological families, lovers, and children results in a unique way of doing family. Paying particular attention to the negotiations that LBQ Latinas undertake in an effort to maintain familial order, Amigas y Amantes explores how they understand femininity, how they negotiate their religious faiths, how they face the unique challenges of being in interracial/interethnic relationships, and how they raise their children while integrating their families of origin.
A SUNDAY TIMES, NEW STATESMAN AND FINANCIAL TIMES BOOK OF THE YEAR 'Immensely powerful . . . her investigation of this terrible illness is sensitive and compelling' Sunday Times After her own father's death from dementia, the writer and campaigner Nicci Gerrard set out to explore the illness that now touches millions of us, yet which we still struggle to speak about. What does dementia mean, for those who live with it, and those who care for them? This truthful, humane book is an attempt to understand. It is filled with stories, both moving and optimistic: from those living with dementia to those planning the end of life, from the scientists unlocking the mysteries of the brain to the therapists using art and music to enrich the lives of sufferers, from the campaigners battling for greater compassion in care to the families trying to make sense of this 'incomprehensible de-creation of the self'.
When Mary Jones' husband died of cancer, she found she had to re-experience her love for him in order to accept his death. This work is an account of the processes of Mary's bereavement, and is intended for others in a similar situation.
Written and illustrated by famous comic strip artist Cathy Guisewite, this book is a funny, touching little tribute to the unswerving influence of that tough taskmaster and best friend, of that woman who can turn pearls of wisdom into a choker a " mom.
With this new book Alice Honig addresses a neglected area in child development - how to help low literacy parents and parents for whom English is a second language enchance the literacy and cognitive development of their children in the home environment and through daily routines. In learning to choose appropriate songs and books for children, adults will feel comfortable with storytime long before their children begin to talk. Honig and coauthor Holly E. Brophy focus on language as a fundamental family activity. Through the use of songs and stories, the authors show how rich language interaction enhances an infant's feelings of love and security and how it helps toddlers and young children learn more about objects, rules, daily experiences and people. Rather than through more formal dialogue or an educational setting, ideas on how to talk to children are anchored to activities and comfortable personal chats between caregivers and child. With its emphasis on the roles both parents play in talking with babies during daily activities - such as diapering, bath time, feedings and walks - parents should find it an easily understood and valuable resource. In addition, the book reassures caregivers that, as children begin to experiment with language power, newly acquired behaviours are perfectly natural. For example, parents for whom disciplining their child is difficult, will learn to manage a child's new-found willfulness as well as the need to experiment with behaviour, even bad behaviour. The authors have included an entire section on discipline, which further illustrates ways to communicate effectively with children to improve cooperation. The book should be of interest to those in child development and psychology and literacy education, as well as a general manual for low-literacy parents.
There was a time when the phrase "American family" conjured up a single, specific image: a breadwinner dad, a homemaker mom, and their 2.5 kids living comfortable lives in a middle-class suburb. Today, that image has been shattered, due in part to skyrocketing divorce rates, single parenthood, and increased out-of-wedlock births. But whether it is conservatives bewailing the wages of moral decline and women's liberation, or progressives celebrating the result of women's greater freedom and changing sexual mores, most Americans fail to identify the root factor driving the changes: economic inequality that is remaking the American family along class lines. In Marriage Markets, June Carbone and Naomi Cahn examine how macroeconomic forces are transforming our most intimate and important spheres, and how working class and lower income families have paid the highest price. Just like health, education, and seemingly every other advantage in life, a stable two-parent home has become a luxury that only the well-off can afford. The best educated and most prosperous have the most stable families, while working class families have seen the greatest increase in relationship instability. Why is this so? The book provides the answer: greater economic inequality has profoundly changed marriage markets, the way men and women match up when they search for a life partner. It has produced a larger group of high-income men than women; written off the men at the bottom because of chronic unemployment, incarceration, and substance abuse; and left a larger group of women with a smaller group of comparable men in the middle. The failure to see marriage as a market affected by supply and demand has obscured any meaningful analysis of the way that societal changes influence culture. Only policies that redress the balance between men and women through greater access to education, stable employment, and opportunities for social mobility can produce a culture that encourages commitment and investment in family life. A rigorous and enlightening account of why American families have changed so much in recent decades, Marriage Markets cuts through the ideological and moralistic rhetoric that drives our current debate. It offers critically needed solutions for a problem that will haunt America for generations to come.
Over four thousand gay and lesbian couples married in the city of
San Francisco in 2004. The first large-scale occurrence of legal
same-sex marriage, these unions galvanized a movement and reignited
the debate about whether same-sex marriage, as some hope,
challenges heterosexual privilege or, as others fear, preserves
that privilege by assimilating queer couples.
In recent years there has been a rapid growth of interest in the sociological study of childhood. This book brings together the major developments in the field.
• Why are women the way they are?
Drawing on her own and other women's lives, Nancy Friday shows compellingly that the key lies in a woman's relationship with her mother – that first binding relationship which becomes the model for so much of our adult relationships with men, and whose fetters constrain our sexuality, our independence, our very selfhood. She believes that on the deepest level we will always be our mothers' daughters, and that only when we recognise and understand this will we be able to find our own strength and direct our own lives.
'Brilliant. Courageous. Moving.'
'An exhaustive examination'
American families today are often noted for their wide variety of guises. Among the mix are single-parent families, childless-by-choice marriages, nuclear families, multigenerational families, and same-sex couples. This diversity among family life that has come under the scrutiny of everyone from politicians to the media, however, is not a recent development of contemporary culture. Although nuclear families with a mother, father, and children tend to be the presumed historic norm, people have always resided, to varying extents, in an assortment of family formations. Bringing together essays by twenty-one distinguished scholars who have helped shape the field of family sociology in the last decade, this interdisciplinary anthology examines variation within family experience, especially as it has evolved across racial, ethnic, social, gender, and generational lines. The essays place historical and institutional frameworks at the center of the discussion. Part one focuses on the development of socially constructed dominant ideologies, demographic shifts in family composition, and historical perspectives on family rituals and mythmaking, including courtship practices and family bonding time. Essays in the second part provide a historical perspective on the interdependence between the family as a social institution and other institutions. Selections highlight changes in women's roles, the impact of economic, racial, and social inequalities on household labor and child care, the effects of war and military service, and the implications of the political climate for family welfare policy. In-depth chapter introductions, along with critical questions to spark class discussion make this an ideal text for courses focusing on family composition, trends, and controversies in the United States.
In September 2014, the French government entrusted Tobie Nathan with the task of counselling radicalized young people who had been drawn to jihadism and in this book he recounts his experiences of some of the young people he met and counselled. He describes what he heard, felt and perceived in his encounters with these young people and their loved ones as he tried to understand the forces running through them and tried to grasp what their fate held in store for them. In so doing, he shows that the history of radicalizations is not the history of 'natures' but of metamorphoses - an unpredictable journey, with moments of immobility punctuated by sudden intoxication at the thought of other futures. It is a history of wandering souls who find themselves unable to form a narrative of origin and in thrall to harmful forces but who may find a way home one day. This deeply humane and engaging book will be of great interest to everyone concerned with the issue of radicalization and with the deep and growing challenges our societies face in accommodating difference.
The paperback editions of The Boxcar Children Mysteries: #5, Mike's Mystery; #6, Blue Bay Mystery; #7, The Woodshed Mystery; and #8, The Lighthouse Mystery are offered together in a cardboard case.
Draw on Your Relationships is a bestselling resource to help people of all ages express, communicate and deal more effectively with their emotions through drawing. Built around five key themes, each section contains a simple picture exercise with clear objectives, instructions and suggestions for development. The picture activities have been carefully designed to help ease the process of both talking about feelings and exploring life choices, by trying out alternatives safely on paper. This will help to create clarity and new perspectives as a step towards positive action. Offering a broad range of exercises which can be adapted for any ability or age from middle childhood onwards, this unique book explores a range of emotions surrounding a person's important life experiences, key memories, relationships, best times, worst times and who they are as a person. This is an essential resource for therapists, educators, counsellors and anyone who engages other people in conversations that matter about their relationship to self, others and life in general. This revised and updated second edition also contains a new section on how to use the superbly emotive The Relationship Cards (ISBN 9781138071018) to facilitate deeper therapeutic conversations.
How the financial pressures of paying for college affect the lives and well-being of middle-class families The struggle to pay for college is one of the defining features of middle-class life in America today. At kitchen tables all across the country, parents agonize over whether to burden their children with loans or to sacrifice their own financial security by taking out a second mortgage or draining their retirement savings. Indebted takes readers into the homes of middle-class families throughout the nation to reveal the hidden consequences of student debt and the ways that financing college has transformed family life. Caitlin Zaloom gained the confidence of numerous parents and their college-age children, who talked candidly with her about stressful and intensely personal financial matters that are usually kept private. In this remarkable book, Zaloom describes the profound moral conflicts for parents as they try to honor what they see as their highest parental duty-providing their children with opportunity-and shows how parents and students alike are forced to take on enormous debts and gamble on an investment that might not pay off. What emerges is a troubling portrait of an American middle class fettered by the "student finance complex"-the bewildering labyrinth of government-sponsored institutions, profit-seeking firms, and university offices that collect information on household earnings and assets, assess family needs, and decide who is eligible for aid and who is not. Superbly written and unflinchingly honest, Indebted breaks through the culture of silence surrounding the student debt crisis, revealing the unspoken costs of sending our kids to college.
AN ESQUIRE AND NEW YORK TIMES BOOK OF THE YEAR
An award-winning journalist’s exploration of the domestic violence epidemic, and how to combat it.
An average of 137 women are killed by familial violence across the globe every day. In the UK alone, two women die each week at the hands of their partners, and in the US domestic violence homicides have risen by 32 percent since 2017. The WHO deems it a ‘global epidemic’. Yet public understanding of this urgent problem remains catastrophically low.
Journalist Rachel Louise Snyder was no exception. Despite years of experience reporting on international conflicts, when it came to violence in the domestic sphere, she believed all the common assumptions: that it was a fate for the unlucky few, a matter of bad choices and cruel environments. That if things were dire enough, victims would leave. That violence inside the home was private. And, perhaps most of all, that unless you stand at the receiving end of a punch, it has nothing to do with you.
All this changed when Snyder began talking to the victims and perpetrators whose stories she tells in this book. Fearlessly reporting from the front lines of the epidemic, in No Visible Bruises she interviews men who have murdered their families, women who have nearly been murdered, and people who have grown up besieged by familial aggression, painting a vivid and nuanced picture of its reality. She talks to experts in violence prevention and law enforcement, revealing how domestic abuse has its roots in our education, economic, health, and justice systems, and how by tackling these origins we can render it preventable.
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