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What questions would you ask a doctor at a comedy gig?...Is it healthy to sleep with a pet? What are the side effects of budgie-smuggling? Is horse riding riskier that ecstasy? Do love eggs need to be fitted? Do unlucky beds exist? Do doctors ever pretend to hear noises with a stethoscope? Should I hand-wash my merkin? Do you need three hands to put a condom on properly? Is it safe to fall asleep with a penis enlarger on? What should I do if someone dies on me during sex? GP and comedian Phil Hammond is easier to see on stage than in the surgery, but he always leaves time for questions. Here are 250 of life's quirkiest queries, lovingly collected from audiences across the UK. Some people put a hand straight up, others prefer a shy drop into Dr Phil's secret sack. Open wide for the finest answers to the most bizarre questions, ranging from tongue in cheek to absolutely filthy...yet surprisingly useful.
The Rosie Result is the triumphant final instalment of the internationally bestselling series that began with The Rosie Project. ------ 'The phone call signalling an escalation in the Hudson Adjustment Problem came at 10:18 a.m. on a Friday morning . . .' Meet Don Tillman, the genetics professor with a scientific approach to everything. But he's facing a set of human dilemmas tougher than the trickiest of equations. Right now he is in professional hot water after a lecture goes viral; his wife of 4,380 days, Rosie, is about to lose the research job she loves; and - the most serious problem of all - their eleven-year-old son, Hudson, is struggling at school. He's a smart kid, but socially awkward-not fitting in. Fortunately, Don's had a lifetime's experience of not fitting in. And he's going to share the solutions with Hudson. He'll need the help of old friends and new, lock horns with the education system, and face some big questions about himself. As well as opening the world's best cocktail bar. Big-hearted, hilarious and exuberantly life-affirming, The Rosie Result is a story of overcoming life's obstacles with a little love and a lot of overthinking. ------ 'Compulsively readable. A poignant, universal story about how best to reconcile head and heart' Observer 'Sublime, pitch-perfect, extremely funny' Independent 'Brilliant, important, good-hearted' Guardian 'Exuberantly life-affirming' Sunday Times
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJm1VyB9ENQ&feature=youtu.be Husband-and-wife design team Vicky Jacob-Ebbinghaus and Juarez Rodrigues set up their hugely popular website eatingfortwocookbook.com when they started interviewing pregnant women on their strangest cravings. They 'cooked', tasted, rated and photographed each discovery, giving it the look of haute cuisine and a similarly fancy-sounding name. When they posted these creations on their blog, the crowd went wild with reposts and tags. More and more pregnant women submitted their cravings for the 'Vicki and Juarez treatment' and soon media pundits were raving. Pickles and Ice Cream feature 75 almost- never-before-seen recipes, uniquely beautiful (even if their appeal as food might be questionable) photographs of the recipes, along with the stories of the pregnant women who dreamed them up.
The `leaked' diary of YouTube comedic personality Miranda Sings, taped together so the world can read all about her life through her eyes - including pages from her baby book, poems from her years as an emotional teen, secrets from her dating life and stories from her rise to fame. As Miranda herself says, `It has every single secret about my life in it. My first kiss, my first period, stories about secret family members, secret photos of other celebrities, etc... so don't read it!'
`Give me three years and we'll be millionaires,' Nick challenged his long-suffering family in 1980, when cash was king. `I've got an idea that's going to take us to the top.' Tinkering with alchemy in an old stable he shared with a Shire horse, Nick discovered how to create the most convincing antique replicas ever made. He started by selling a few of his netsukes on a market stall at the Birmingham Rag Market and met extraordinary and eccentric people, the risk-taking gamblers with fast tongues. Each had their own money-spinning ideas; you name it, he replicated it for the wheeler-dealers chasing the dream. When Nick and his crew reached the rarefied circles of the London art world he realised he could be dangerously out of his depth. This is the unlikely and often hilarious story of where nothing but enthusiasm and self-belief can take you.
Eighty-five-year-old Hendrik Groen is fed up to his false teeth with coffee mornings and bingo. __________ Along with fellow members of the Old-But-Not-Dead Club, he embarks on a wild spree of octogenarian anarchy. But the home's director will not stand for any more drunken bar crawls, illicit fireworks or geriatric romance. The good name of the care home will not be disgraced. But when Hendrik learns of a plan to close the home down he realises life outside it could be much worse. He and the gang must stop the closure before it's too late. Or drop dead trying . . . __________ 'A joy to read. An entertaining and uplifting story of a man in the winter of his days' John Boyne, Irish Times 'Highly entertaining, utterly convincing. A delightful and touching saga of one man's way of coping with old age'Daily Express 'Terrific. This geriatric Adrian Mole made me laugh' Fanny Blake, Woman and Home 'A funny but also touching diary praised for its wit and realism' BBC Radio 4 Front Row
From Sam Jordison, author of the bestselling Crap Towns series, comes I-SPY for Grown-ups. The I-SPY concept is very simple: it's like the `I spy with my little eye' game, only instead of all the tedious stuff about `something beginning with', there are pictures and descriptions and genuine opportunities to use your sleuthing skills to discover interesting things. This can be alarming - but when turned into a sport, it's also fun. Britain is simply brimming with officious signs. It's not fun to defy them, however. Because then people will tut at you - and this is worse than death. This book provides a useful guide to the signs you are likely to see strategically placed around the UK. It teaches us that it's not only necessary to obey orders, it's enjoyable too. It makes good spies of us all!
Know someone who's as dramatic as a soap okra? Champion their 'shiitake happens' attitude with this little book of upbeat and adorkable fruit puns. #tatersgonnatate About the series This cute and colourful series of fruit-pun-filled gift books are the perfect pick-me-ups for you, your friend or your partner in crime. Do you need to avocuddle, or are you grapeful for someone who's a bit of a melon? Then share the clove with these little books: AvoCuddle, WhataMelon, You are my Raisin for Living, Don't Give a Fig, I am Grapeful, You are 24 Carrot Gold. *veg, nuts and seeds are fair game
More of the best, craziest, biggest and funniest! Absolutely Awesome South Africa is an entertaining compilation on South Africa which is packed full of fun, facts and trivia. This completely new coffee table book is packed with completely new content and design on every page and is full of South African humour, history and interesting facts. The vibrant and colourful pages of Absolutely Awesome South Africa captures the heart and the soul of this magnificent country. This book is available in Hard Cover and Soft Cover. 220 page of Facts – Fun – Trivia – Humour – Quotations – Culture & so much more!
'Classic Classroom Clangers' is a hilarious collection of hundreds of true, side-splitting anecdotes from the world of education.There are the bloopers made by pupils in exams:'The first thing a doctor has to do when a baby is born is to cut the biblical cord.'And the gaffes of teachers:'Whenever I open my mouth some fool speaks.'There are the letters from tender parents:'I am asking you not to use corporal punishment on George. We never do except in self-defence.'As well as the proclamations of nursery tots:'All things bright and beautiful, all Teachers great and small.'All will have you rolling in the corridors with laughter. A hilarious collection of howlers and gaffes from the world of education. SCIENCE Vacuum: a large empty space where the Pope lives Germinate: to become a naturalised German NATURE STUDY Fish swim about in shawls HISTORY Q: With what do you connect the name Baden-Powell? A: With a hyphen THE NOTICE BOARD The Low Self Esteem Group will meet Thursday at 12.30pm. Please use the back door.
Only five individuals stand between the killer robots of Krikkit and their goal of the total annihilation of the universe. They are Arthur Dent, homeless Englishman currently marooned in the deep past; his friend Ford Prefect, temporarily insane to see if he likes it, also marooned; Slartibartfast, once of the planet builders of Magrathea; Zaphod Beeblebrox, ex-confidence trickster and part-time galactic president; and Trillian, the sexy space cadet who is torn between a persistent Thunder God and a very depressed Beeblebrox. In other words: we're doomed.
`You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.' Les Brown People often say that you should `act your age', but they're talking complete piffle, of course. This sourcebook of delightful ideas and uplifting quotes will tempt you to try something new every day, whether it's dancing all night, laughing till dawn or watching the sunrise. Go on, try it - you might like it!
Parenting: Illustrated With Crappy Pictures - Amber Dusick
Questions You're Not Supposed To Ask - Tony Williams
THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER 'This really is the "everything you have always wanted to know about feminism but were afraid to ask" manual. Essential reading for the planet.' EMMA THOMPSON In 2015 I described myself as 'guilty feminist' for the first time. My goals were noble but my concerns were trivial. I desperately wanted to close the pay gap, but I also wanted to look good sitting down naked. A funny, joyful, frank and inspiring book about embracing both feminism and our imperfections, from the creator of the hit comedy podcast, Deborah Frances-White. From inclusion to the secret autonomy in rom coms, from effective activism to what poker can tell us about power structures, Deborah explores what it means to be a twenty-first-century feminist, and encourages us to make the world better for everyone. The book also includes exclusive interviews with performers, activists and thinkers - Jessamyn Stanley, Zoe Coombs Marr, Susan Wokoma, Bisha K. Ali, Reubs Walsh, Becca Bunce, Amika George, Mo Mansfied and Leyla Hussein - plus a piece from Hannah Gadsby. Praise for THE GUILTY FEMINIST: '[Deborah Frances-White's] mixture of wit, fallibility and inclusivity is immensely appealing' Sunday Times 'Hilarious, irreverent, eternally surprising, classy as hell, genius comedians ... It's shows like this that breathe life into conversations about feminism' Phoebe Waller-Bridge 'Tackles issues from democracy to sexuality to porn with a lightness and hilarity that makes even the newly ordained feminist feel at home' Scarlett Curtis, Sunday Times 'Wildly successful ... The Guilty Feminist addresses the major feminist issues of the twenty-first century while also celebrating our glorious imperfections' Marie Claire Australia
*MUCH RAVED ABOUT BY CHRIS EVANS ON HIS BBC RADIO 2 BREAKFAST SHOW* EVERYONE ELSE IS WINGING IT TOO. You know you're a grown-up when... *You become impatient while scrolling down to your year of birth. * You've lost and gained the same 10lbs so many times you now regard it as an old friend. * Your parents have stopped trying to change you. * You don't want to be with the cool people anymore; you want to be with your people. * You know that 'Soul mate' isn't a pre-existing condition. It's earned over time. Does it ever feel like everyone - except you - is a bona-fide adult? Do you wonder how real grown-ups get to be so mysteriously capable and wise? When she turns 40, Pamela Druckerman - author of the #1 Sunday Times bestseller French Children Don't Throw Food - wonders whether her mind will ever catch up with her face. Waiters start calling her `Madame', and she detects a disturbing new message in mens' gazes: I would sleep with her, but only if doing so required no effort whatsoever. There Are No Grown-Ups is a midlife coming-of-age story, a hilarious quest for wisdom, self-knowledge and the right pair of pants. It's a book for readers of all ages about - finally - becoming yourself
This humorous collection of stories from life at the Bar and on the Bench in the Cape takes a look back at four decades, starting at the end of World War Two and finishing with the arrival of democracy in South Africa.
These tales and recollections, mostly from Bar members now in their 80s, show what an extraordinary time it was for lawyers. Also, remarkably, how much is of relevance to lawyers practising today.
The anecdotes and reminiscences of members of the Bar during this period were collected and edited by Mr Justice Gerald Friedman and Jeremy Gauntlett SC.
In August 2010, Wylie Overstreet published a satirical article called "If Historical Events Had Facebook Statuses" on the website CoolMaterial.com. Within a month, it had received 3 million views and had been "liked" by 120,000 Facebook users.
In A WORLD HISTORY ACCORDING TO FACEBOOK, Overstreet expands this concept into a full-length history of the world, from its creation up through to the present day, as if Facebook had existed all along and Abraham Lincoln had written a status update about "taking the missus to the theater" on April 15, 1865 and Ben Franklin had done the same alerting his network that he'd signed the Declaration of Independence ("Bring it," replied John Adams). Filled with hundreds of real-life historical figures and thousands of not-at-all-real Facebook statuses, comments, and actions, and parodying Facebook users' proclivity to over-share and use lazy jargon ("lol," "rofl," "fml," etc.), this is the definitive humor book for our generation.
'Personal and engaging . . . anyone who agrees that Star Wars was a defining moment of our collective childhood will love this book' - The Times 'Funny and affectionate' - Time Out 'Will have you hitching aboard the Millennium Falcon to a galaxy overflowing with infinite possibilities. ****' - Metro ************* In 1981, the eight-year-old Bob Fischer was entranced by Daleks, Vogons and crack Imperial Stormtroopers. Almost three decades later, Bob decides to rekindle the affair with a tour of the UK's sci-fi and cult TV conventions. Freewheeling from Doctor Who to Discworld, Star Wars to Star Trek and Robin of Sherwood to Red Dwarf, he combines misty-eyed memories with a terrifying travelogue of terrible, torturous . . . terror. Or something. In space, no one can hear you scream. And don't expect much sympathy in Peterborough, either.
Move from apprentice to master with assertiveness advice from the Star Wars™ galaxy's most powerful leaders, including Darth Vader, Palpatine, and Supreme Leader Snoke.
Negotiating the workplace can be an impossible task, especially if that workplace is a towering, all-powerful force intent on taking over the galaxy. Whether your day-to-day work involves developing plans to build the Death Star, building a rebellion, or simply trying to make the printer work, the leaders of the Star Wars universe offer essential guidance on how to assertively deal with common professional pitfalls.
Find out how to get a promotion, beat the competition, manage difficult employees, and move from intern to CEO with top tips from Star Wars: Be More Vader and the most powerful villains in the Star Wars movies.
The perfect gift for colleagues and friends alike, Star Wars: Be More Vader is a tongue-in-cheek guide on how to advance your career, featuring favourite moments from the Star Wars series alongside hilarious advice and iconic, inspirational Star Wars quotes.
© & TM 2018 LUCASFILM LTD. Used Under Authorization.
THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER WITH A NEW CHAPTER ON TURNING THIRTY *Winner of Autobiography of the Year at the National Book Awards 2018* *Shortlisted for the Waterstones Book of the Year 2018* Award-winning journalist Dolly Alderton survived her twenties (just about) and in Everything I Know About Love, she gives an unflinching account of the bad dates and squalid flat-shares, the heartaches and humiliations, and most importantly, the unbreakable female friendships that helped her to hold it all together. Glittering with wit, heart and humour, this is a book to press into the hands of every woman who has ever been there or is about to find themselves taking that first step towards the rest of their lives. *************** 'Alderton is Nora Ephron for the millennial generation' Elizabeth Day 'Steeped in furiously funny accounts of one-night stands, ill-advised late-night taxi journeys up the M1, grubby flat-shares and the beauty of female friendships, as Alderton joyfully booze-cruises her way through her twenties' Metro 'Deeply funny, sometimes shocking, and admirably open-hearted and optimistic' Daily Telegraph 'The book we will thrust into our friends' hands . . . that will help heal a broken heart. Alderton's wise words can resonate with women of all ages. She feels like a best friend and your older sister all rolled into one and her pages wrap around you like a warm hug' Evening Standard 'A sensitive, astute and funny account of growing up millennial' Observer 'I loved its truth, self awareness, humour and most of all, its heart-spilling generosity' Sophie Dahl 'Alderton proves a razor-sharp observer of the shifting dynamics of long term female friendship' Mail on Sunday 'It's so full of life and laughs - I gobbled up this book. Alderton has built something beautiful and true out of many fragments of daftness' Amy Liptrot
- The first doctor-written guide to becoming a dad - Combines the medical knowledge of a healthcare professional with real-life experience - Step-by-step - from conception to caring for your newborn baby - Honest, humorous and engaging, this book answers the questions you've been too afraid to ask At this crucial life-moment, knowledge is power, but you probably know less than you think: What's a cervix? Can we still have sex? Why's the midwife doing that? How do I make up a bottle and is that poo normal? Dad's role is more important than you might ever have imagined, so what can you do to help? 'I hope that as a doctor and a new dad, I will go some way towards answering those "man questions" that never quite make it to the pub, locker-room, water cooler or any other locations where men might find themselves having meaningful chats with another guy. Think of this as a papery man hug in what is a potentially treacherous world of terminology, hormones, social change, sleep deprivation and finally dirty nappies with tiny feet attached.'
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