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What's the worst that can happen? Are there aliens out there somewhere? What happens when I die? In Do You Know What?, our favourite sportsman-turned-comedian-slash-leftfield-thinker Freddie Flintoff expels an eclectic and entertaining smorgasbord of anecdotes, impressions, reflections, ruminations, musings, cogitations, observations, rants, confessions and pearls of wisdom on all aspects of life's rich tapestry. As a prolific philosopher of life's most unfathomable questions, Freddie uses his own inexplicable experiences - from the sublime: giving up booze, shopping in Poundland with his family, exploring the wonders of the universe with his mates; to the ridiculous: wrestling with WWE's finest, singing in a musical on the West End, pranking teammates - to help us all gain the comfort of his life mantra: What's the worst that can happen? Do You Know What? is an unexpectedly helpful, occasionally silly and absorbing brain dump on life and everything it holds, from one of Britain's most-loved national treasures.
There's a new bunch of baddies in town, and they have something sinister in store for Petey the Cat. Once again, Dog Man is called into action--but this time he isn't alone. With a cute kitten and a remarkable robot by his side, the Supa Buddies must join forces with the most unlikely of heroes to save the day. But will that villain Petey avoid vengeance and finally venture toward virtue?
TheOatmeal.com's most popular cat jokes, including "How to Pet a
Kitty" and "The Bobcats," plus 15 new and never-before-seen
catthemed comics, are presented in this hilarious collection from
"New York Times" best-selling author Matthew Inman, a.k.a.
TheOatmeal.com. Includes pull-out poster
Reading about the slime- covered, non- Euclidean ruins of the sunken city of R'lyeh or the squamous, tentacled deity who slumbers there would make anyone hungry. Starting with the puns and working from there, authors Mike Slater and Thomas Roache have summoned forth 50 funny, bizarre, and horrible dishes such as: * The Deep Fried Deep One * Nog Sothoth * Cthus-Koos * The Great Old Buns * The Gin and Miskatonic Like H. P. Lovecraft's Necronomicon, the legendary and forbidden book of the dead that is "alien to all sane and balanced readers," this cookbook contains many dark (but still delicious) secrets within its pages. The book comes infested with sanity- melting and mouth- watering illustrations, as well as annotations full of crazed discoveries and desperate warnings about the recipes that brave readers will undertake.
'Genius' Cosmopolitan 'The best book I have read recently ...Absolutely blinding. Read it. Do it.' Daily Mail The bestselling book everyone is talking about - our favourite anti-guru Sarah Knight reveals the surprising art of caring less and getting more. Are you stressed out, overbooked and underwhelmed by life? Fed up with pleasing everyone else before you please yourself? Then it's time to stop giving a f**k. This irreverent and practical book explains how to rid yourself of unwanted obligations, shame, and guilt - and give your f**ks instead to people and things that make you happy. From family dramas to having a bikini body, the simple 'NotSorry Method' for mental decluttering will help you unleash the power of not giving a f**k and will free you to spend your time, energy and money on the things that really matter. The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k: How to stop spending time you don't have with people you don't like doing things you don't want to do. 'Self-help with an edge' Vogue 'I love Knight's book before I even start reading it' Sunday Times Magazine Coming this December from our favourite anti-guru Sarah Knight: Get Your Sh*t Together - the must-have follow up and perfect companion to bestselling The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k.
The highly anticipated first book from award-winning comedian, writer, producer and actress, Amy Schumer. In The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo, Amy shares stories about her family, her relationships, her career, good - and bad - sex, recounting the experiences that have shaped who she is today: from the riches to rags story of her childhood to her teenage quest for popularity (and boys) to becoming one of the most sought-after comedians on the planet and an outspoken advocate for women's rights. Whether she's experiencing lust at first sight in the queue at the airport, discovering her boot camp instructor's secret bad habit, or candidly discussing her father's multiple sclerosis, Amy Schumer proves to be a fearless, original, and always entertaining storyteller. Her book will move you, make you laugh, catch you completely off guard, and answer this burning question: is it okay for a 35 year-old woman to still sleep with her childhood teddy bears?
Otters are some of the most delightful animals on the planet. These long, lean, furry creatures embody pure joy in so many ways: What other species builds water slides for fun? Or holds hands with their friends just because? Or wraps themselves in seaweed so they can nap without floating away? These intelligent, water-dwelling mammals are not only an essential part of the world's ecosystem (not to mention YouTube's ecosystem), but they have a lot to teach us about the way we live life.
Taking the very best quotes from the phenomenon that is fmylife.com where people share their embarassing experiences, describing in a few sentences the horrific moment that ruined their day. Debate rages about which entries really happened but the best FMLs are the ones you just couldn't make up. "F My Life: World Tour" proves that the same unfortunate events occur every day, to all sorts of people, right across the globe. This book is an incredible collection of schadenfreude (that's German for having a LOL at someone else's misery).
Whether you've had one yourself or just noticed someone else's, there's nothing more awkward than a badly timed boner. The hardest part (ahem) is trying not to laugh...
A collection of beautiful love stories from bestselling artist Edward Monkton. A LOVELY LOVE STORY:The first book published by Edward Monkton, this is a beautiful story about two lovely dinosaurs with a message as old as time itself: that being together is better than being apart. LOVE:Every day is a day for lovers, but if there is one day of the year when this is doubly so, it must be Valentine's Day. This book is a collection of Monkton's most successful Valentine's Day. What better way to tell someone you love them? I LOVE YOU:Edward Monkton's profound, funny and sometimes surreal musings on love and relationships. Wonderfully packaged with the utmost style and attention to detail, this boxset brings together three of Monkton's most cherished books for the first time. The perfect present for the one you love. All original stories and collections, charmingly illustrated with lovely line drawings, Edward Monkton's books are highly collectible and stylish gift books.
Following the phenomenal success of such stylish and original books as The Lady and the Chocolate, The Pig of Happiness, The Shoes of Salvation, Love and The Penguin of Death, Edward Monkton now assembles his funny, sometimes surreal and suprisingly philisophical drawings and thoughts on Christmas. The Wonderful Xmas Undies So powerful was their spell that ladies sighed with pleasure at their beauty and grown men fell to their knees and wept. Edward Monkton's surprisingly philosophical take on all aspects of love, life and happiness have made Monkton's drawings stylish collectors' items and a mark of good taste year in, year out.
Whilst patrolling his territory, Simon's Cat dips into the lives of dogs and their owners in his neighbourhood, including an English bulldog who is madly in love with a handsome looking foot-stool and a pack of frustrating puppies. With characteristic style and wit, world-famous animator Tofield creates all-new laugh-out-loud illustrations of different dog breeds and their quirky mannerisms as witnessed by one distinctly bemused feline.
SuzelleDIY: The Book gives DIY a humorous twist. Julia Anastasopoulus, aka Suzelle, shows us how to deal with household chores, maintain your car, live green, make braai day a day to remember and how to minimise the hours you spent in the kitchen. Marianne, her friend, joins her and takes a special interest in our furry friends. The DIY diva also shares her DIY and beauty secrets, while also entertain us with the best recipes from her kitchen. Because anybody can.
Epitaphs are a unique artform. In previous centuries they were regarded as an opportunity to celebrate, mourn, reflect on, philosophize, lament, or affirm the individual and the mystery of life and death, often giving rise to carefully crafted verse. In more recent times, humour has come into play: Spike Milligan's characteristically irreverent epitaph - which translates as `I told you I was ill' - gives new life to his comedic voice beyond the grave. This book brings together over 250 epitaphs from cemeteries, churchyards, funerary monuments and historical records. The gravestones of famous people often give rise to memorable and evocative lines, such as `curst be he that moves my bones' (Shakespeare's grave), `Horseman, pass by!'(W.B. Yeats) or `Called back' (Emily Dickinson). Others tell us something about the cause of death, frequently invoking a macabre sense of humour: `Here lies John Ross / Kicked by a Hoss'. More often there is a wry tone which characterizes the most well-known epitaphs, combining rhyme and humour: Remember friend as you pass by As you are now so once was I. As I am now you will surely be Prepare thyself to follow me. This book spans the centuries with the best and most intriguing examples of the final word.
Why My Cat Is More Impressive Than Your Baby is chockfull of comics about cats, babies, dogs, lasers, selfies, and pigeons! This book contains a vast wealth of never-before-seen comics, including informative guides, such as: How to comfortably sleep next to your cat 10 ways to befriend a misanthropic cat How to hold a baby when you are not used to holding babies A dog's guide to walking a human being How to cuddle like you mean it. Includes a pull-out poster of: How to tell if your cat thinks you're not that big of a deal.
Make a loved one smile with this classic Christmas read - a perfect stocking filler 'Christmas Day was organized by Lady Bobbin with the thoroughness and attention to detail of a general leading his army into battle . . .' The formidable fox-hunter Lady Bobbin is holding a Christmas house party. Attendees include her rebellious daughter Philadelphia, a pompous suitor, a couple of children poring over newspaper death notices, and a dejected writer whose first serious novel has been declared the funniest book of the year. Add to the mix beautiful ex-courtesan Amabelle Fortescue and her guests staying in a neighbouring cottage and you have a ribald tale of true love and false fidelity, hijinks and low morals, not to mention the consumption of a considerable quantity of Christmas spirit. 'Utter, utter bliss' Daily Mail 'A dazzling comic delight' The Times 'Very funny, irresistible' Spectator
People pleasing, social anxiety, instagram twattery and everything in between... Welcome to adulthood! We spend our childhood wanting to be grown-ups and, when we get there, long for the simplicity of our youth and quake at the horrific responsibilities, demands and the unstoppable to-do lists that come with adulthood. In her new book, Katie Kirby pinpoints with painful precision just how your crap life is now you're all grown up. Aside from the spiralling worries that shadow you wherever you go - peaking at around 3AM ffs: my leg hurts, I've not upgraded my operating system, should I become vegan? why haven't I done anything about carbon emissions?; there is your perverse impulse to say yes to requests for help and invitations to dinner with people you don't like and who have nicer hair than you. Thankfully there is a silver lining, which mostly takes the form of lying to yourself, learning how to evade unexpected callers and cheating the system with your Tesco Clubcard. Honest, relatable, hilariously funny and containing no useful advice whatsoever, take comfort in the knowledge that it's not just you, we're all f*cked.
"Amy Wilson's hilarious, tender memoir...had me laughing out loud with recognition. She captures the small moments of motherhood in a way that is both funny and thought-provoking." -Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project From the creator and star of the one-woman off-Broadway show Mother Load, comes When Did I Get Like This?, a screamingly funny take on being a modern woman, wife, and mother told with "a level of hilarity that even non-moms can appreciate" (Time Out). Amy Wilson's poignant and provocative, utterly outrageous look at "the Screamer, the Worrier, the Dinosaur-Chicken-Nugget-Buyer, and Other Mothers I Swore I'd Never Be" has already earned an appreciative response from Three-Martini Playdate author Christie Mellor, who calls it, "As entertaining as it is reassuring."
Move from apprentice to master with assertiveness advice from the Star Wars™ galaxy's most powerful leaders, including Darth Vader, Palpatine, and Supreme Leader Snoke.
Negotiating the workplace can be an impossible task, especially if that workplace is a towering, all-powerful force intent on taking over the galaxy. Whether your day-to-day work involves developing plans to build the Death Star, building a rebellion, or simply trying to make the printer work, the leaders of the Star Wars universe offer essential guidance on how to assertively deal with common professional pitfalls.
Find out how to get a promotion, beat the competition, manage difficult employees, and move from intern to CEO with top tips from Star Wars: Be More Vader and the most powerful villains in the Star Wars movies.
The perfect gift for colleagues and friends alike, Star Wars: Be More Vader is a tongue-in-cheek guide on how to advance your career, featuring favourite moments from the Star Wars series alongside hilarious advice and iconic, inspirational Star Wars quotes.
© & TM 2018 LUCASFILM LTD. Used Under Authorization.
If you're logofascinated, you are literally spellbound by language.; This surprising compendium of 1,000 facts about words, language and etymology is here to inspire your curiosity and delight in discovery. In Word Drops, you can delve into a smattering of unexpected connections and weird juxtapositions, stumble upon a new or remarkable word, or learn of many a bizarre etymological quirk or tall tale.; - Did you know that the bowl made by cupping your hands together is called a gowpen?; - And speaking of bowls, the earliest known reference to bowling in English dates from 1555, when bowling alleys were banned by an Act of Parliament.; - And that ties in nicely with the fact that the English called the Germans 'Alleymen' during the First World War.; - But in Navajo, Germany is called Beesh Bich'ahii Bikeyah-or 'metal cap-wearer land'.; Word Drops is a language fact book unlike any other, its linguistic tidbits all falling together into one long interconnected chain just like the example above with each fact neatly 'dropping' into place beside the next.; What's more, throughout, footnotes are used to give some informative and intriguing background to some of the most bizarre facts, covering everything from traditional Inuit games to the origin of the Bellini cocktail, from the precise length of one 'jiffy' to what the Romans thought hoopoe birds ate, and from what to expect on a night out with Dr Johnson to Samuel Pepys's cure for a hangover. Want to know the longest palindrome in Morse code, or who The Great Masticator was? Curious to know what Norwegian steam is, or what a jaaaar is? The answers are all here.; For all of the logofascinated among us, this is an immensely pleasurable and unpredictable collection that is guaranteed to raise eyebrows (the literal meaning, incidentally, of supercilious).
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