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An annus horribilissimus for Alex, as the true extent of the sub-prime crisis reveals itself and the entire capitalist system teeters on the brink of collapse. Bankers suddenly find themselves Public Enemy Number One, held in lower public esteem than estate agents or politicians.
By following the White Man Commandments - namely, that winning justifies anything and everything - you too can achieve success beyond your capabilities. With lessons on the value of shock and awe, putting compassion on the back-burner and pretending racism doesn't exist, Think Like a White Man teaches you how to understand, overcome and overthrow the White Man in the whiter-shade-of-pale world of work.
Make every day extraordinary with the Olivia Finger Puppet Theatre This interactive kit includes finger puppets of Olivia and frenemy Francine. Decorate Olivia's bedroom -- or turn it around and it becomes a mini theatre stage-- with 10 electrostatic stickers. Join Olivia and Francine and create fun and inspiring adventures that are only limited by your imagination
Sometimes, the hardest part of staying together is keeping a straight face... Ever wish you could leave all your problems behind and make a fresh start somewhere else? Trade the stresses and strains of everyday life for your own slice of sun-kissed paradise on the other side of the world? Jamie and Laura Newman certainly have. When Jamie's spectacular meltdown at work results in him being handed his P45, and Laura finds her working days end up with her rugby tackling defenceless pensioners in the high street, a move ten thousand miles away sounds ideal. After all, it might mend some of the cracks that have appeared in their marriage over the past few months... So when Laura is offered a new job in Australia, the Newman family think their dreams have come true. But as the old saying goes - be careful what you wish for, you might just get it. As the hapless couple soon find out, problems have a way of following you, no matter how far you go to avoid them. Can love survive under different skies?
THE PERFECT STOCKING FILLER for anyone who thinks they'd survive the world's most hostile environments - or at least imagine they could do. ----------------------------- First issued to British airmen in the 1950s the beautifully illustrated Air Ministry Survival Guide provides invaluable practical tips and instruction on how to keep calm and carry on in any hostile environment. Whether you're lost in the desert, arctic, jungle, or adrift on the open ocean, you'll be better off armed with sensible advice on how to: - Build a structurally sound igloo - Pull faces to prevent frostbite (and when to expect bits to fall off should you fail) - Fashion a mask to prevent snowblindness - Make a hat out of seat cushions - Behave in the event of meeting hostile locals - Stay safe from poisonous reptiles and insects - Use a 'fire thong' - Punch man-eating sharks (which are cowards)
If you can persuade a cat ... you can persuade anyone. This is the essential guide to getting your way. Jay Heinrichs, award-winning author of Thank You for Arguing and advisor to the Pentagon, NASA and Fortune 500 companies, distils a lifetime of negotiating and rhetoric to show you how to win over anyone - from colleagues and bosses, to friends and partners at home (and even the most stubborn of feline adversaries). You'll learn to: Perfect your timing - learn exactly when to pounce Get your body language, tone and gesture just right Think about what your opponent wants - always offer a comfy lap Lure them in by making them think they have the power The result? A happy, hopefully scratch-free, resolution. 'Jay Heinrichs knows a thing or two about arguing' The Times 'A master rhetorician and persuasion guru' Salon 'You got a bunch of logical engineers to inject pathos into their arguments ... it works!' NASA engineer
If you're Wilde about Shaw but not Shaw about Wilde, this classic collection of humorous literary quotations is the book for you. Within its pages you will find hundreds of hand-picked quotes in dozens of handy categories. All the big names are here, from Henry James to Clive James (no relation); from Waugh, Evelyn to War, Poets; from Dickens to Dictionaries and Twain to Twitter. Delve here and discover T. S. Eliot's advice on becoming a great writer (it's a bit anal). Find out what the critics said about Virginia Woolf and what Virginia Woolf said about the critics. And check out what it was about Jane Austen that got Mark Twain so hot under the choler! When dirt is dished, fat is chewed, sides are split and chins are wagged, the result, dear reader, is this richly entertaining book. "Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?" HENRY WARD BEECHER "Biographers know nothing about the intimate sex lives of their own wives but think they know all about Stendhal's or Faulkner's." MILAN KUNDERA "I hate writing. I love having written." DOROTHY PARKER "It was a good career move." GORE VIDAL, on the death of Truman Capote
Re-think the way you work with these tricks, scams, and inventions to solve all of your worktime woes
"Admit it, after a tough morning in the office there's nothing like the taste of somebody else's coffee. That's why Somebody Else's Coffee has been specially roasted to give you that unique taste of coffee that doesn't belong to you."
Are you being held back by cheap office furniture? Is your team experiencing one of the worst gossip droughts in living memory? It's no wonder you're not enjoying your job. But never fear: this ingenious catalog of ideas has the solution to all your office problems. Improve staff access to the photocopier with a photocopier ladder. Make up new acronyms with Acronym Boggle. Motivational posters are great, but have you tried Motivational Urinal Blocks? What could urinal motivation mean for your annual turnover? Whether you need help lifting the morale of a sad and droopy team, or if you simply want to look like you're working when you're not, this is the fresh, new, innovative approach that you've been waiting for.
How to spend a night being a self-pitying wreck: Get on FB and stalk your ex, then spend 20 minutes refreshing the page whilst sobbing into your second tub of half-eaten cookie dough ice cream because you've realised that no one (literally no one) has commented on your status update. Totes drama. This book is about relationships. It's about how people meet, fall in love, break up, wallow, and then pull themselves together again for round number 2. It's about dating and rejection and all the joy and the crap that goes with it. It will make you laugh and think, pour out your innermost thoughts and doodle away your angst. It will be your best friend and your counsellor; you can't drink cheap wine with it but you can scrawl swear words on it and rip it up, should you feel the urge. In short, this book will make you feel better when your heart is being battered and bashed on the rollercoaster of love.
A book of haiku and illustrations from the mind of Martin, the talking, angst-ridden, introspective dog from the ABC TV series, Downward Dog. Sam Hodges is part of the writing and creative team of the ABC TV sitcom Downward Dog and he provides the distinct voice for Martin on the show. Hodges is also an accomplished director, having won numerous awards for his commercial work for Animal Inc. Phinheas Hodges is part of the writing staff on the ABC TV sitcom Downward Dog. He is also a freelance writer, director, and editor. Idil Gozde is an award-winning animator and graphic designer at Animal Inc. Her book trailer for the company's Nobody's Girl book won two awards at the 2015 Addy Awards in Pittsburgh.
Funny, fearless and absolutely filthy-nearly 3,000 more uncensored, dirty, sick, and deeply politically incorrect jokes, covering just about every topic imaginable, from adultery to (sex in) Zoos, including an assortment of bad taste lists. A worthy, all-new follow-on to the first bestselling volume.
"I cannot tell you the number of times I've wondered, especially after a spicy meal, why evolution wasn't smart enough to build us with buttholes made out of something more durable? Titanium, perhaps?" From the hilarious Mara Altman, Gross Anatomy unapologetically explores the beautiful, and sometimes not so beautiful, aspects of our bodies, and why they're worth loving anyway. From hairy chins to braless outings, lice-infestations to PMS, no body part is left undiscussed as Altman takes the reader on a wild journey from head to toe, recounting experiences most of us are too polite to share. Hugely funny and unashamedly body-positive, this book is a must-read for all women (and men, too). Through a combination of personal anecdotes and fascinating research, Mara Altman proves herself as a fearless and thoroughly charming writer, creating one of the most compulsive feminist reads of the year.
How fluent are you in emoji? Test out your skills in Emoji Puzzles, full of tips and trivia, facts, puzzles and games to satisfy any emoji expert. Can you recognise the film Forrest Gump when it is written in emoji? How about the lyrics to Adele's Hello? Covering categories such as film, music, celebrities, superheroes, video games, famous events and many more. Emoji Puzzles is the perfect gift for any Emoji-mad member in your family, which, last time we looked, was everyone!
A collection of shocking facts and hilarious accompanying hashtags which can only provoke one response--and who has the time to say "Oh my God ""There is no evidence that Vikings wore horns into battle. #couldhavesomeoneseyeout"Beavers are able to hold their breath underwater for 45 minutes. #usefulfordambuilding #wellillbedamned"Whether you're one of the Twitterati or someone who thinks of tweeting as something birds do, you've probably heard people saying "OMG " to each other (after all, we're too darned busy for "Oh my God"' nowadays). This little book will introduce you to an unrivalled selection of amazing facts, along with playful #hashtag commentaries--dive in and you'll be OMG-ing before you know it
Now that we've armed readers with killer insults and deadly zingers, our newest edition equips them with the sly skills once reserved for mothers and Machiavelli. Now anyone can be a master of mental manipulation! Hardcover; 112 pages
Murphy's Law - popularly known as Sod's Law - with acknowledgements to Parkinson's Law and the Peter Principle - explains the truth of man's existence: that if anything can go wrong, it will. In three volumes of murphology, Arthur Block has provided the only comfort possible - laughter - for all those who have ever been exasparated by things going wrong, with a set of rules offering a wise and witty view of the human predicament in the cosmos.
When Nick Spalding self-published Love... From Both Sides and Love... And Sleepless Nights he became one of the bestselling ebook authors of 2012. Now for the first time the Love... books are being published in a longer format with more of the love story, more of Laura and Jamie's ups and downs and more of the laugh-out-loud hilarious moments that fans have come to know and love. Sometimes, the hardest part of becoming a parent is keeping a straight face... Just ask Jamie and Laura Newman, who (thanks to a rather relaxed attitude to contraception) find themselves about to have a baby. It's obviously a terrifying prospect for a newly married couple, but as long as they stick together they'll be just fine... right? They'd better because the path between falling in love and those first few baby steps is littered with obstacles. Featuring a hilarious cast of characters including an overbearing mother-in-law, a terrifying midwife and at least one chorus of mating humpback whales, Love... And Sleepless Nights is the hilarious follow-up novel all about what happens beyond the happy ever after. Falling in love with another person is easy, making a new one is where things get complicated.
You won't find a more loyal and loveable friend than you will in your dog. But if you're going to cope with its boundless energy, its insatiable appetite and its total disregard for social niceties, you're going to need survival skills: Think positively: You will get more exercise than ever before (whether you like it or not) Reassure yourself: The `mad puppy' behaviour should wear off after 15 years or so. This mischievous little book will help guide you through your role as a dog owner with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
Fluffballs Fuzzberta and Friends have been taking the internet by storm as they chronicle their lives via fancy dress, from highlighting the best of film and fashion to offering behind-the-scenes material of what they get up to in their spare time. Now this guinea-pig gang has collected its all-time favourite and exclusive photos in one book for all non-fuzzy beings to enjoy!
'I need to work hard on my maths so I will be god at it.' 'My dads boss lives in a big hose.' 'When I am older I want to learn to drive a cat.' Children are at their funniest when they're trying to be serious, and their earnest attempts at mastering the English language are a goldmine of unintentional humour, from the charming to the ludicrous, and from the profound to the downright X-rated. Enjoy this bumper edition of side-splitting spelling slip-ups and hilarious homework howlers.
For the uninitiated, the quinceanera celebrates the passage of a fifteen-year-old girl into adulthood: It's a bit bat mitzvah with a dash of debutante ball, and loaded with the same potential for hilarity and adolescent angst. In this original anthology, fifteen of the brightest and funniest Latino writers, men and women alike, share their own memories of these moving and often absurd extravaganzas--tales of that unique form of familial humiliation that is borne of the best intentions, fierce love, and the infectious joy of parents finally allowing their little girl to grow up.
Reach for the stars! It's not rocket science - you're simply stellar. Bring out your inner sass-tronaut with this collection of quotes and statements which will remind you how astronomically amazing you are, and that you are light years ahead of everyone else.
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