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They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and that's definitely true when it comes to emojis. Every day, millions of smiley faces, thumbs up, dancing girls, slices of pizza, cocktail glasses and pumped up biceps are pinged to family and friends from phones around the world. The cute symbols are designed to sum up in one character tone, emotions, desires, jokes, and more, all through just a few pixels. But how can you be sure if you're using the right one? All will be made clear as in Emojipedia.
Popular music has always attracted the kind of morally bankrupt individuals who are too unhinged to hold down a proper job. And that's just as well. After all, if your local fishmonger told you he'd just snorted his father's ashes, you might think twice about doing business with him. But when Keith Richards says it, you think `Nice one, Keef!' and have a flick through your iPod to find `Honky Tonk Women'. From deeply suspect sexual politics to crackpot religions, musicians' elevated position in popular culture allows them to hold forth freely on subjects about which they know precious little. For the first time, Mind The Bollocks collects some of the finest stools of wisdom ever to fall from their foul, ill-educated mouths. Mind The Bollocks also digs beneath the culture of nonsense surrounding popular music and asks: Are the X-Factor auditions all they appear to be? Is there really a musical frequency that can make you soil yourself? And which world-renowned rock guitarist sliced his own penis off? All is revealed herein, with bonus satanic messages included if you read it backwards. Word count: 40,000
In our current global political climate, we are exposed daily to horrible images of war and pain. Then sometimes, mercifully, we are thrown a lifeline. The viral Instagram account Tiny Gentle Asians is precisely one such lifeline. It's a suite of fun and uplifting images, showcasing adorable pictures of babies - often chubby to the point of absurd - taken by doting mothers across Asia. "It's the best site," says Chelsea Handler, American comedian and TV royalty. "Every morning there's a new fat nugget." The sassy captions which accompany each image are written by Melissa Kenny, the mastermind behind TGA. Lately, though, she's been busy... Melissa has just undertaken her most ambitious project yet: Tiny Gentle Asians, the book! Loaded with exclusive cute content, this book finally brings TGA into the physical world. Each page is a new adventure in newborns. Expect plenty fat rolls, screwed up cheeks, dimples on dimples, implausible costumes and plenty of crying bubs. With the success of her Instagram, Melissa's life has been flooded by the endless submissions from photo-obsessed mums. This book is a careful curation of these submissions, as well as the fruits of her own searches. This book is sure to bring light and joy to any reader with a pulse. We thank Melissa for her noble work in bringing these tots the attention they deserve.
Spinal Tap: The Big Black Box brings to the public, for the very first time, the story of the band in words, pictures and removable facsimile memorabilia. Turn your bookshelf up to 11 with this fully authorised publication. The book tells the story of the band, from the early days as The Originals, then The New Originals and The Thamesmen, before they settled upon Spinal Tap, and then their swift rise to fame and fortune, before their audience becomes "more selective", and crowd sizes dip. On the verge of splitting, the band hit number one in the Japanese charts, and on the story goes. Lifelong friends Nigel Tufnel and David St Hubbins are profiled, alongside long-time bassist Derek Smalls and keyboardist Viv Savage. Those close to the group are featured, including Ian Faith, Jeanine Pettibone, Sir Denis Eton-Hogg, Bobbi Flekman, and Artie Fufkin. All of Tap's records are reviewed, from the early skiffle sounds of 'All the Way Home' to the deep, meaningful 'Sex Farm', and including the experimental 'Jazz Odyssey', crowd favourite 'Gimme Some Money' and even the groundbreaking 'Break Like The Wind'. This book lets you look at, touch, feel - and maybe even smell - Spinal Tap as you have never looked at, touched and smelled them before.
You need a strong core to hover over a public toilet, and firm biceps to carry boxed wine, so train your body for real life's stupidly simple ordinary tasks-fifty, to be exact. Get in shape with 50 stupid reasons to work out and 50 exercises to prepare your stupid muscles for each of them. The Stupid Fit Couple (@stupidfitcouple) are Karley Phillips and Aaron Denius, a real-life couple with a passion for fitness. Knock Knock Books: fun gifts or workout motivation? Both! Paperback; 7 x 9.5 inches; 160 pages; full-color throughout; ribbon page marker
Despite Rimuru's absence, Tempest was as peaceful as always. Well, as peaceful as a monster town called "Tempest" could get, anyway. But that was only until they learned that a bunch of heavily armed humans were coming their way. To make matters worse, the Beast Kingdom of Eurazania has declared war on Milim, and Rimuru is nowhere to be found...!
Ever been lost for words abroad? When you want to get your point across abroad there's only one way to do it: by swearing your ar*e off! Impress the world with a stream of multi-lingual profanity from this nifty pocket book.
THE BRO CODE provides men with all the rules they need to know in order to become a "bro" and behave properly among other bros. THE BRO CODE has never been published before. Few know of its existence, and the code, until now, has been verbally communicated between those in the 'bro'. Containing approximately 150 "unspoken" rules, this code of conduct ranges from the simple (bros before hos) to the complex (the hot-to-crazy ratio, complete with bar graphs and charts). With helpful sidebros THE BRO CODE will help any ordinary guy become the best bro he can be. Let ultimate bro and co-author Barney Stinson and his book, THE BRO CODE share their wisdom, lest you be caught making eye contact in a devil's three-way (two dudes, duh.) Sample Articles from THE BRO CODE: Article 1: Regardless of veracity, a Bro never admits familiarity with a Broadway show or musical. Article 53: A Bro will, whenever possible, provide his Bro with prophylactic protection.Article 57: A Bro may not speculate on the expected Bro / chick ratio of a party or venue without first disclosing the present-time observed ratio.
Our newest edition to the Lines for All Occasion series, Flattery & Faint Praise, offers ready-to-use blarney for a wide range of applications and encounters.
As an openly gay comic, Bob Smith broke barriers with an appearance on "The Tonight Show." Now Smith offers up his own original, whine-free perspective on being grown up and gay.In OPENLY BOB, the acclaimed comedian candidly, and humorously, tackles issues facing grown-up gays as they make their place in an overwhelmingly straight society. From bringing your boyfriend home to your father's funeral, to being the only gay couple at a family wedding, to surviving couples counseling, Smith's decidedly wry spin on the events of our lives resonates with keen observation and hilarious truth."So Mom says to me on the phone, 'Just because you're coming home for your father's funeral doesn't mean we can't have fun!'"Sex education, meteor showers, lesbian ventriloquist dummies, fleamarket shopping, body piercing, pot -smoking drag queens, environmental correctness, Judgment Day, Samuel Beckett, Newt Gingrich, Coco Chanel, Sigmund Freud--nothing and no one escapes Smith's incisive eye in this very human collection of comic essays.
A maverick first novel that should prove a winner with all except the humourless! With her first novel "E-mail from a Jewish Mother", Mona Berman takes her place alongside Leo Rosten, author of the classic "Joys of Yiddish". Her novel is a charming, humorous, highly perceptive account of a Jewish mother's relationship with her four daughters, consisting of a series of e-mail messages written by the mother to her daughters over the course of a year. "My darling Sarah Well done! What a splendid decision to go to Perth for Gavriela's Batmitzvah! I am relieved that you were finally able to persuade Cedric, who is always so moralistic, to use the insurance money you got after those wily London burglars robbed you of your few possessions..." 'Love, Mom' (the only name the mother claims) is a would-be old-fashioned Jewish mother of four independent daughters. Her e-mail messages are full of wit and wisdom, much of it with a Jewish slant, and reveal the lessons she has learned during the rocky voyage of her life. Together the e-mails have a definite feminist slant, and by the end the mother's correspondence has yielded a unique, vigorous, life-affirming comic novel which is also a satiric overview of today's world. Full of what is commonly regarded as typically Jewish humour, the letters are also a vehicle for unveiling the mother's journey into self-discovery and personal growth.
Based on the bestselling F in Exams book series, this calendar presents a full year's worth of stunningly wrong but amazingly funny student test answers, plus all kinds of things everyone should have learned in school but didn't.
'A clever multiple-narrative account of teenage kicks and sectarian strife in early 80s Northern Ireland . . . this debut marks out Quigley as a writer of compassion and humour' Guardian The end of the school year is approaching, and siblings Paddy and Liz McLaughlin, Christy Meehan, Kevin Thompson and their friends will soon have to decide what they're going to do with the rest of their lives. But it's hard to focus when there's the allure of their favourite hangout place, the dingy 'Cave', where they go to drink and flirt and smoke. Most days, Christy, Paddy and Kevin lie around listening to Dexys and Joy Division. Through a fog of marijuana, beer and budding romance, the future is distant and unreal. But this is Derry in 1981, and they can't ignore the turmoil of the outside world. A friend is killed, and Christy and Paddy, stunned out of their stupor, take matters into their own hands. Some choices are irreversible, and choosing to fight will take hold of their lives in ways they never imagined. With humour and compassion, Geraldine Quigley reveals the sometimes slippery reasons behind the decisions we make, and the unexpected and intractable ways they shape our lives. 'A novel that is warm but also unsettling and exhilarating. That's some feat' Roddy Doyle 'A poignant and powerful coming-of-age story' Sunday Mirror
Watermelon, Marian Keyes's very first novel, tells the extremely funny and wonderfully touching tale of a woman who thought she had it all - until the day she discovers that it's all gone . . . 'Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted makeup . . .' On the day she gives birth to her first child, Claire Walsh's husband James tells her he's been having an affair and now's the right time to leave her. Right for who exactly? Exhausted, tearful and tiny bit furious, Claire can't think what to do. So she follows the instincts of all self-respecting adults in tricky situations. . . . And runs home to Mum and Dad. But while her parents are sympathetic, Claire's younger sisters are less so. Helen wants to share the new toy (she means baby Kate). While Anna is too busy having out-of-her-head experiences. So when James slips back into her life, desperate to put things right, Claire doesn't know whether to take a chance on a past she'd feared she'd lost for ever or face an uncertain future on her own. But is she as on her own as she really believes? 'A warm and hilarious page turner' Good Housekeeping 'Reading a novel by Marian Keyes is like sitting at the kitchen table with your nicest, most confiding friend.' Daily Mail 'Gloriously funny' The Sunday Times 'Funny but poignant' Marie Claire 'When it comes to writing page-turners that put a smile on your face and make you think, Keyes is in a class of her own' Daily Express
'A charming collection of stories that reminds you life could be so much worse' - Sunday Times, Best Stocking Fillers of 2018 The ultimate toilet book' - Observer ___________ The news can be overwhelming, with reports on post-Brexit food shortages, the underfunded NHS, and international trade wars, but local news is filled with many other serious headlines . . . Naked gardener puts neighbour off sausages Sports coach irate because KFC staff 'didn't cook him chicken' Fury after Morrisons wouldn't sell couple meat pies before 9am House fire started by squirrel disrupts funeral People across the UK are suffering the horrors of naked neighbours, large potholes, and parking fines. Packed with the best that regional journalism can offer, there are chapters on antisocial behaviour, transport hell and fast-food nightmares. Local issues may not be worthy of national headlines, but they certainly make people very, very angry . . .
Walking sticks have had a bad press. For too long the walking stick has been portrayed as a workaday item of codgerism, a simple support for the aged and infirm. This is not the case. Possession of a walking stick opens up a whole gamut of opportunities beyond the simple 'leaning against' purpose. In 49 Uses for A Walking Stick Frank Hopkinson explains the variety of practical uses a walking stick can be put to, from flicking filthy slugs off a lawn and parting crowds to alerting a theatre-goer two rows in front that his rapid consumption of fruit bonbons is ruining everyone's enjoyment. Illustrated throughout, the book also includes a miscellany of walking stick trivia, facts and figures and fun information.
Written by bestselling author Boris Starling, Marriage is one of the first titles in the brand new Haynes Explains series. A light-hearted and entertaining take on the classic workshop manual, it contains everything you'd expect to see including exploded views, flow charts, fault diagnosis and the odd wiring diagram. It takes the reader through all stages of married life, giving them the hints and tips needed to keep it running smoothly.
The first and only 100% unofficial annual featuring everyone's favourite socialist dreamboat Jeremy Corbyn. Jeremy Corbyn's post-election reboot has taken the general public by storm, sending his approval ratings toppermost of the poppermost. Unlike all other politicians Jezza seems to have the ability to appear genuinely saddened and emotional in the wake of terror and tragedy, and can even make conversation with `normal' people. And with his artisanal beard and post-grunge fashion stylings he has become a huge hit with the `millennials' (the term middle-aged people use for young people). Crucified by the media, left for dead by the pollsters, this truly is JC's second coming. The Unofficial Jeremy Corbyn Annual 2018 features: - Pull-out poster pictures of dreamy Jezza. With cap. Without cap. On a bike. In debate. - Photo stories: re-live the drama as we re-tell the story of how New Labour stalwarts try to oust the idealistic Jeremy. - Pin The Beard on the Jeremy: fun for all the family. - Corbyn's Kindfulness Corner: Be like Jeremy every day. Plus word searches, quizzes, mazes, song lyrics and so much more
I've rounded up a rowdy assembly
Of my own Consequential Dogs
As counterparts to Eliot's mogs.
Mine are a rough and ready bunch:
You wouldn't take them out to lunch . . .
But if they strike you as friendly, funny,
Full of bounce and fond of a romp,
Forgetful of poetic pomp,
I trust you'll take them as you find them
And, at the very least, not mind them.
T. S. Eliot's best-selling collection of practical cat poems has been one of the most successful poetry collections in the world.
For the first time in company history a companion volume will be published. Originally conceived by Eliot himself, Old Toffer's Book of Consequential Dog poems are a witty, varied and exquisitely compiled as Eliot's cats.
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