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CHAPTER III "The eye wanders here and there; thought stays at
home." Alfocr Prmcrb. "TF only one could live without thinking," A
said Jan. He was talking to the girl with the red-gold hair. He had
talked to her often; he had watched her oftener. To him she seemed
to be all that he was not. All his restless doubts and fears, all
the old questions that tortured him, as they have tortured every
thinking man before him ? all, or nearly all, had been laid bare
before this girl. Her presence calmed him, and her innocence and
faith gave his thoughts a more wholesome turn. So he knew that she
could understand his unrest when he said, " If only one could live
without thinking." " My thoughts, my memories, are God's greatest
blessings," she answered. " Your thoughts, your memories " " Are
all I have." " Is your happiness all in the past then ? " "What you
would call happiness ? yes, it is all in the past; my hope of
regained happiness is naturally in the future." " You mean in
another life ? " asked Jan, with a slight smile. "Yes, in a
perfection of life, immortality." " Then you are not afraid to die
? " " I hope not." " That is what Luther said." "Is it?" She sat
thinking, with her little chin slightly raised, and her hands
clasped round one knee. Van Riemskerk was in no hurry to disturb
her. It was so restful to watch her. After a while she turned to
him and said, " I don't think you understand me, Mr. Van Riemskerk.
You see, life looks so differently to different people. You have
always had a very happy one, perhaps. I have lost everyone that I
love. As you know, I am in mourning for my father; and when you saw
me at Genoa I had been to visit my mother's grave. She was an
Italian, you know, and she died when I was very young. Yes, all
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