Artemus Ward in London, Comprising the Letters to 'Punch' and Other Humorous Papers [Ed. by E.P. Hingston]. (Paperback)

This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1870 Excerpt: ...was a young man between fifty-three years of age, and was chiefly distinguished for being the son of his aunt on his great grandfather's side. Schnappsgoot was a man of liberal education, having passed three weeks at Obcrlin College. He was a man of great hardihood, also, and would frequently read an entire column of "railway matters" in the Cleveland Herald without shrieking with agony. Chapter II.--The King. The tyrant Richard the III. (late Mr. Gloster) sat upon his throne in the Palace d' St. Cloud. He was dressed in his best clothes, and gorgeous trappings surrounded him everywhere. Courtiers, in glittering and golden armor, stood ready at his beck. He sat moodily for a while, when suddenly his sword flashed from its silvern scabbard, and he shouted--"Slaves, some wine, l.o " The words had scarcely escaped his lips ere a bucket of champagne and a hoe were placed before him. As the King raised the bucket to his lips, a deep voice near by, proceeding from the mouth of the noble Count Staghisnibs, cried--" Drink hearty, old feller." "Reports, travelling on lightning-wings, whisper of strange goings on and cuttings up throughout this kingdom. Knowest thou aught of these things, most noble Hellitysplit?" and the King drew from the upper pocket of his gold-faced vest a paper of John Anderson's solace and proceeded to take a chaw. "Treason stalks monster-like throughout unhappyFrance, my liege " said the noble Hellitysplit. The ranks of the P. Q. R.'s are daily swelling, and the G. R. J. A.'s are constantly on the increase. Already the peasantry scout at cat-fish, and demand pickled salmon for their noonday repasts. But, my liege," and the brave Hellitysplit's eyes flashed fire, "myself and sword are...