This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1889. Excerpt: ... SHAKESPEARE'S FUNERAL. Place.--Steatford-on-avon. Time.--The 25th or April 1616. Scene I.--The Taproom of the Falcon Tavern in the High Street, kept by Eleanor Comyng. Hostess and Sly. Hostess. TZIT SLY, Kit Sly, dost thou hear?---There be guests alighting in the yard; run thou and help Robin ostler hold their stirrups, and so do somewhat for the ale thou ne'er pay'st for. Sly. If I do, wilt thou let this one day slip without rating and prating of thy score that I owe thee? Hostess. Yea, good Kit, if thou run quickly. Sly. But wilt thou bid Francis draw me what ale I may chance call for? A Hostess. Nay, that will I not, or thou wouldst empty my great tun. Thou wouldst serve me as thou didst the ale-wife of Wincot,1 who says, poor soul, that she ne'er had cask in cellar these twelve years but thou wert more fatal to it than a leaking tap. By these ears, I heard her say so when the deputy's men were seizing her goods. Thou shalt not cozen me as thou didst Marian. Sly. Hold stirrup thyself then. I'll not budge. I'll to sleep again by the chimney till it please God send me drink. Enter Drayton2 (thepoet) and Young Raleigh 3 (son of Sir Walter). Drayton. Sly, said she Didst thou not hear, Walter, yon varlet's name? but 'twas scarce needful. The sodden face, the shaking nether lip, the eye watery and impudent, the paunch ale-swelled, the doublet liquor-stained, the hat crushed from being much slept in, the apparel ruinous, because the tapster intercepts the fee that should be the tailor's and the cobbler's--hath not the master, without cataloguing one of these things, implied all, in half-ascore of pregnant words, for all the future? What a skill is that can make a poor sot immortal 1 "Ask Marian Hacket, the fat ale-wife of Wincot, if she know me not," says K...