The London Budget of Wit, Or, a Thousand Notable Jests; Many of Them Never Before Printed, and the Whole Arranged on an Entire New Plan Under the Following Heads Women, Royal, Noble, Clerical, Legal, Medical, Military, Naval, Theatrical, Wit in Low Life to Whi (Paperback)

This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1817 Excerpt: ...would have dilacerated him upon the spot." Sir William Aldington. 497. On Sir William Addington's quitting his situation as chief magistrate of the Bow-street office, the following paragraph appeared in a morning paper: --" Sir W. Addington retires from the practice of the law, to devote his hours to the study of it." Anonymous And Miscellaneous. 498. An attorney, in Dean Swift's company, gave himself great liberties of conversation with him. At length this impudent limb of the law asked the dean, ' Supposing doctor, that the parsons and the devil should litigate a cause, which party do you think would gain it?"--" The devil, no doubt," replied the dean; as he would have all the lawyers on his side." 499. An attorney brought an aetion against a farmer for having called him a rascally lawyer. An old husbandman, being a witness, was asked if he heard the man call the plaintiff a lawyer? " I did," was the reply. " Pray," says the judge, " what is your opinion of the import of that word?"--" There can be no doubt of that," replied the tellow. " Why, ood man, " said the judge, " there is no dishonour in the name, is there?"--" I know nothing about that," answered he; "but this I know, if any man called me a lawyer I'd knock him down."--" Why, sir," said the judge, pointing to one of the counsel, " that gentleman is a lawyer, and that, and that, and I too am a lawyer."--" No, no, replied the fellow; no, my lord: you are a judge, I know; but I'm sure you are no lawyer." 600. A lady asked an old uncle, who had been an attorney, but who had left off business, what were the requisites for going to law; to which he replied: &q...