Sawed-Off Sketches; Humorous and Pathetic. Comprising Army Stories, Camp Incidents, Domestic Sketches, American Fables, New Arithmetic, Etc., Etc., Etc (Paperback)

This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated.1884 Excerpt: ... THE HEN AND THE FAEMER. A Hen having laid an Egg set up such a Cackle that presently the whole Barn-yard was in Confusion and the Farmer came running out to see what was going on. "What is it V he demanded as the Hen cackled louder than ever. "Why, I've laid an Egg " "An Egg? Why, a gingle Egg isn't worth but two cents at the present market price." "Yes, I know, but if I didn't do two shillings' worth of cackling over every two cents' worth of egg, the world would soon forget me." MORAL I Send a bundle of old clothes to an orphan asylum and then interview a reporter. THE MAN WITH THE ACCOEDION. A Peasant having saved up a sum of Money by hard work and peeling his Potatoes close, went to the nearest Village and invested in an Accordion. On his way home he began playing the air of " My Grandfather's Clock," but scarcely had the echoes reached the Forest when out came a Chopper, who cried out: "Man Man for Heaven's sake hang up on that You will kill us all with your Racket " "Can't help that," replied the Peasant, as he pulled away harder than ever. "If what tickles me all over is Death to you that is not my lookout. I will now give you "The Empty Cradle," with variations." Moral: "If our neighbor doesn't want our smoke let him move away. THE LION'S ADVICE. A "wolf who had a dispute with a Hyena determined to destroy him, and therefore went to the Lion for advice. "Set a trap for him," was the reply, "and when you have caught him eat him." The Wolf went away and laid a snare beside the path often traversed by his enemy, but just as he was cackling with satisfaction he blundered into the trap himself and was held fast. In this emergency along came the Lion, who called out: "By George but what's all this " "I'm fast in my own trap," humbly replied the Wolf....