She was dead. He felt a huge part of his mind ripped out of him,
leaving an agony of raw edges. The Spanish said of her, "tenia
ngel..". She had an angel within her. She did. In the car crash, he
rose out of his body and went through a tunnel, to a place of light
and pure bliss. They sent him back. He raged against heaven. They
lived in Barcelona, Spain. She was angelic, and a car crash killed
her. He could only think of his selfishness, his shortcomings. He
lashed - flayed - himself. He had never seen how she filled his
deep psyche with love. Now he was a gaping hole inside. He didn't
have enough of himself to make any sort of life. He saw her face,
the face he had loved above all others, her face lit up in
intricate play of love, affection, peace and amusement. He heard
her lovely voice - then he couldn't. He had no tapes! In grief, he
yearned for just one moment more. Silence. He would never see her
again. Nor hear her.
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