BABIES. Maybe you're thinking of having one. There might even be
one inside you right now, draining nutrients from your system via a
tube growing from its midsection. Or maybe you've already got one
around the house, somewhere, and you're responsible for its
continued survival. You're saddled with a helpless being whom
you've agreed to house and feed and love with all your heart for
the rest of your life, more or less.
Either way, you're confused, you're frightened, and 911 won't
take your calls anymore. But don't despair "Let's Panic About
Babies " is here to hold your hand and answer some important,
age-old baby-related questions, including:
- How can I be sure I'm pregnant? "(Torso swells gradually until
baby falls into underpants.)
"- Did I just pee myself? "(Yes.)"
- What happens if I have sex during my pregnancy? ("Your baby
will be born with a full, lush beard.")
- How can I tell if I've chosen the wrong pediatrician? ("He/she
can't pronounce "stethoscope."")
- How do I make sure my baby loves me back? ("Voodoo.")
From the moment they're created until the day they steal our
cars, our babies demand center stage in our lives. So join Alice
and Eden as they tell you (and your lucky partner ) exactly what to
think and feel and do, from morning sickness to baby's first steps.
They know everything
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