Bitter pills to swallow - self-inquiry (Paperback)

At present we are conscious of ourselves as a set of adjuncts like body, mind, intellect with object knowing consciousness, in which our attention seemingly moves away from the self towards the object with seeming separation from the knowing subject and known object. All objects come into existence only when our attention is directed towards them. The act of directing our attention towards something which appears as other than ourselves is what we call thinking. In self-enquiry we withdraw our attention from thoughts and objects consciousness moves Self-wards because self is the base for appearance and disappearance of "I" thought i.e. mind. This natural positing of our attention in the self conscious being is self-enquiry. Self-Enquiry is holding on to awareness of being that "we already are." When the mind strays you bring it back- that's all. Self-Enquiry is not through thought but paying attention to the source of it. There is no ego apart from the idea of "I" thought. The "I" thought arises from the self and depends upon the self for its existence. It is never apart from the self and in fact the self but forgetful of its true nature. It believes in the lie of its independent existence apart from the self. As enquiry proceeds the lie becomes tenuous until it loses its power to hold us. Each time when you observe this "I" thought you break your identification with the "I," you disconnect from this "I" as being part of you. As you peel from this false "I," you will find yourself spontaneously abiding in a tranquil centre, just abide in that "I am." At this point there is no feeling of "I" thought as an object presently sensed. Just be there. After sometime mind will take over, that is natural, do not be frustrated. With practice we will find much easier to abide in this state of "I am" and for longer periods. There is no place for effort, expectation, hurry in this. The idea that one is an individual person is generated and sustained by "I" thought and its habit of constantly attaching itself to all thoughts and perceptions that go on in the mind and the body. Self-Enquiry is to reverse this process by depriving the "I" thought of all the thoughts and perceptions that it normally identifies with. If one can break the connection between "I" thought and the thoughts it identifies with, then the "I" thought itself will subside and finally disappear. This can be done by holding on to "I" thought, excluding all other thoughts. If one can keep the attention on the inner feeling of "I," the power of self pulls the "I" thought back into it and eventually destroys it so completely that it never rises again. This is the moment of self realization. When this happens, the concept of individual self is destroyed, only self remains. All this happens when we perform self-enquiry with the same intensity as that of a drowning man struggles for air.