Judge's Library Volume 58-69; A Monthly Magazine of Fun (Paperback)

This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1894 Excerpt: ... blew off on the boat, my dear, and if it hadn't been for the kindness of some of the passengers we should have had to waive our dignity and come home bare-headed." AT THE OBELISK. IN CENTRAL PARK. Mrs. Farmer Rykseed--"That monument must be put up fer General Vasnington. You know he tit right here a hundred years ago.' Farmer Ryesf.ed--"Yes, I guess you're right, 'Mandy. I s'pose it was put up by some of them New York dudes, who wanted to be so English that they wrote the stuff on it in British, 'cause I can't read it." BEFORE THE RISE. BULL--" It's my drink first." Doc--" No. 'taint, it's mine." Bull--" Let's toss up for it?" CAUSE FOR HASTE. Bagley was one of three hundred men and women who w-ere standing on the pier waiting to board an excursion boat. An excitable Jew behind him kept pushing him ahead. Bagley expostulated with him mildly at first, but this had no effect, so finally, much out of patience, he turned around and exclaimed: "This isn't the crucifixion you're going to; it's only a boat-ride." HARD ON HIM. Mabel--" I suppose you have heard of Sister Lou's marriage? She's taken a flat up-town. Miss Jellus--" Yes, I heard she had a flat, but I didn't hear where she had taken him." A RESPITE. Caller (to friend)--" It is such a pleasure to be out again. I don't know when I've enjoyed a day more. I've been so busy this spring." Friend--"You have engaged an extra girl, then, and are enjoying your leisure?" Caller--" Why, no. not exactly. The girl we had went home to her mother today, and I am enjoying her absence." LIKE ANY OTHER MAN. Just like any other fellow, A policeman, I maintain, Needs the use of an umbrella If he would arrest the rain. PU...