The Autobiography of a Notorious Legal Functionary (Paperback)

This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1838. Excerpt: ... CHAPTER XVII. The growth of time may be appropriately likened to the growth of the aloe, which will not put forth its blossoms on complusion, or permit its operations to be vexatiously hurried by any absurd attempts to trouble the earth around it. Yet, by waiting patiently, we shall find that many events will inevitably occur, for which we had not only made no preparation, but upon which we never could have calculated. It will not fail also to be remembered, by the reminiscent and sagacious reader, that he has frequently gone forth in search of one thing or person, which or whom he might reasonably expect to find, and that, nevertheless, he has not discovered it or him; and that on the contrary, some other thing or person has made itself apparent to him, which or whom he had no design of seeking, and no expectation, however slight, of having the happiness to meet. Thus, sometimes, an individual goes forth with the express intention of laying a cudgel over the shoulders of his wronger, and is suddenly presented with an unforeseen kicking from a third party, whom he, strange to say, has wronged. Thus, also, the devout cook ascends the areafor the purpose of seeking the parish church; and, instead thereof, meets by the way with the dapper groom attached to the adjacent livery stables, whose converse sweet, fraught with the plan of prospective public-house--rendered visible to her mental eye by its fanciful sign of "The Wooden Spoon and Stomach-ache,"--causes her at once to marvel at the agreeable encounter, and to adopt plans to facilitate its recurrence. I have thus, at too much length, perhaps, illustrated my meaning, and prepared the reader for what is to follow. When I started out one morning, for the purpose of tracingaclue which had been afforded me to t...