Comic Arithmetic [Illustr. by A.H. Forrester]. (Paperback)

This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1844 Excerpt: ... " a mass of corruption," " a cesspool," "a common sewer,"' "a worm," "a scorpion," "a snake," "a spider," " an adder." He may also charge himself with murder, abomination, witchcraft, lying, and every vice denounced in the Decalogue, on the principle of "the greater the sinner the greater the saint." Having thus initiated himself into the spiritual fraternity, he may write a work to prove that the " Church damns more souls than she saves." He then mounts the rostrum as a burning and a shining light. He deals in brimstone, wholesale, retail, and for exportation. Now he unites his spiritual with secular power, and mixes parliamentary logic with divinity, electioneering squibs with "Hymns of the Chosen;" makes Lucifer cuckold, and swears himself his true liege man on the cross-buttock of a radical candidate. He now receives the degree of D.D. from a Scotch university, for 71. 13s. 6d., and begins to feel as "big as bull-beef;" his lank hair curls; he has red velvet cushions to his tub; he begowns and belappets himself; he looks on all sides for an halfidiot heiress, or infatuated widow in a state of fatuity, and marries. Thus he jumps into his bishopric, makes religion a " good spec," till it is found out he has had "two wives" before, and a variety of miniature portraits of himself: --and thus ends his Practice. A favourite maxim with a certain reverend city orator, formerly a " grocer," and still a "grosser" man than his neighbours. EULE XIII. BARTER--BUYING AND SELLING--PROFIT AND LOSS. Man is a " forgiving animal," and this is a better definition of him than Plato's "biped without fea...