The New Shakespeare and Other Travesties (Paperback)

This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1882. Excerpt: ... AT THE GRAVE OF OPHELIA. Now it happened on an evening In the merry month of May That the sorrow-stricken relatives Did bury fair Ophelia. About the grave the mourners Were standing wrapped in woe, When the good priest prayed and whispered, "No further can we go. "You know her death was doubtful, Having died a suicide, And therefore should this maid be lodged In ground unsanctified." Now it fell out that Ophelia Had a brother, Laertes, Who said, "Good priest, proceed ye With these solemn obsequies." Up spake the good priest sharply, "We've enlarged her obsequies AT THE GRAVE OF OPHELIA. 89 As much as we have warranty, You'll retire, if you please." Young Laertes was angered, Or was pained, to say the least, At what he termed the swindle Of a low-lived, ornery priest. "But lay her i' the earth," said he, "The beauteous, fair young thing; And from her unpolluted flesh May sweetest violets spring " Then, turning to the priest, he said: "A million to a cent, That she will sing in heaven When you below lament " With that he leaped into the grave, And to the Sexton said: "Now pile your dust upon the quick As well as on the dead, And make this flat a mountain In height a mile or two, To o'ertop old Pelion or the head Of old Olympus blue." And, speaking of Ophelia And the lips he oft had kissed, 90 AT THE GRAVE OF OPHELIA. He rassled with the coffin Like a resurrectionist. 'Twas an inauspicious moment For young Hamlet to appear, When the fair Ophelia's brother Was so much upon his ear. "May I ask whose grief," said Hamlet, "Bears such an emphasis? For I never in all Denmark Saw aught to equal this; Whose phase of sorrow conjures The wonder-wounded stars, And makes them pause and listen From Jupiter to Mars?" And then he introduced himself As one lately judged ins...