The Art of Emotional Self-Defense - Finding the Four Feelings That Could Save Your Life (Paperback)

Have you ever noticed how different you are from the people you love? Your best friend skydives and rides motorcycles but you wouldn't risk doing either. Your friend dissolves into tears but you hardly ever cry. Your lover speaks sharply; you have a softer edge. What draws such opposite personalities to one another? Is there a pattern? This is a book about feelings. The author draws the surprising conclusion that there are really only four fundamental feelings: Fear, Anger, Pain and Love. Gilligan asserts that these four feelings are elemental--that they are teaching tools in the handbook of life. The rest of our so-called feelings like anguish, boredom, anxiety, humiliation, and the list goes on, are not true emotions but states of mind that get in the way of your knowing what you are actually feeling. The basic emotions--fear, anger, pain, and love--are constantly "in motion" recycling through your mind and body, second by second. Most of us have hidden them away or denied their presence. These four emotions are guiding the direction of your life whether you are acknowledging them or not. Attaining these life-changing insights will allow you to make important choices, ending recurring and destructive cycles. Once you understand what your feelings are telling you, you will have a guide for living a successful and enriching life. In the late 60's, Sonja and Mike Gilligan formed Fusion Groups. Out of their group experience, and from many intense group-therapy sessions, came an original theory--a concept of behavior based on their observations of how people interact. The resulting insights have continued to inform their day-to-day lives and the lives of many others. The Gilligans are Emmy Award winning filmmakers. They reside in New York's Hudson River Valley. "When I first walked into the groups, I felt like this is home; this is where honest people gather, this is where anger is honored, grief is honored, and above all, this is where honesty is honored "--Rory Block "I grew up thinking that anger was only used to hurt. With Sonja and Mike, I learned that you have to feel clear anger in a safe place before the other feelings could come out. It saved my life. I finally found a place where women didn't have to be quiet. They could let it rip. I loved it."--Susan Johnston "It helped me distinguish between a real pain feeling and just feeling sorry for myself."--Nick Long "50% of all couples divorce. If they knew what we know, I'll bet the divorce rate would be about 4 %. It changed my life. I could relate to people on a whole new level."--Patricia Kennedy "I came to the group and the whole thing scared the hell out of me, but it was also totally exciting. People were talking about issues that I always knew were there."--James Johnston "It is a hell of a tool for making you clear about what's going on."--John Kennedy