Beginning Anew (Paperback)

This book serves a major purpose in my life. Even the book cover, overflowing with the 8's, shares some major significance to me. In the Bible, the number 8 means new beginning. In order to further explain the purpose of this book, I have to go back to where my soul first experienced pain and rejection. Attending kindergarten at PS 31, I started school almost a year late because I had eczema really badly. I also had a teacher (whose name I remember to this day) who would make me stay alone in one part of the classroom. I wasn't allowed to sit or play with the other students because even though I wasn't contagious, I looked the part. I also have to go back to a family tragedy where at the age of twelve, I was gang raped by grown men. When they let me leave, I went home. No one was there, so I went to sleep and I slept with that secret for almost six months. I never told anyone until I was sent to live with relatives in another state. Torn from my sisters who I loved and who I knew really loved me, I was too messed up to realize that my new family was trying to love me. I was too messed up to receive the love they gave. After some years, I was brought back to my sisters and brothers and my mother, but too much had happened to me. There was so much anger and hurt, and I acted out a lot. I fell in love with an older married man who I thought loved me. At that time, I didn't love me enough to get out of an abusive relationship. At the age of twenty, I gave birth to my first child, my son. After thirteen years, the older married man and I parted ways, but I was blessed with two children from him. In order to get away from him, I moved out of state where the lack of money for diapers and food became so difficult that I began dating for money. I know I have made some major mistakes in my life. All the hurt, joy, pain and lessons were all trapped inside my mind. The only way to get free was to write. My poetry was my escape. This book reflects my new beginning, my BEGINNING ANEW.