The Distance Travelled (Electronic book text)

Why have certain denizens of Hell taken to throwing farm animals through innocent folks' kitchen windows? How long does it take a dead, desiccated gas attendant to walk out to his pumps? What sort of relationship do the Lord of the Underworld and Hell's Head Torturer have besides the obvious professional one? What kind of air conditioning units do they use down there? Do they listen to Cyndi Lauper? What is Hell's official currency, and by what criteria did The Big Red Fella choose it? Can pigs eat cereal with a spoon? What nameless beast dwells in the flame pit near the hole to Upside? What is Upside, for that matter, and why should you care anyway?

Within the pages of this book, you will find the answers to these pressing questions, as well as answers to other, significantly less pressing, questions. . . .

Praise for The Distance Travelled

"A completely unique take on life in hell. Snappy dialog and a bizarre backdrop set this adventure tale apart from the pack." --Christopher Moore, author of Practical Demonkeeping, The Stupidest Angel, and Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

"The Distance Travelled is a raucous blood-and-guts pulper, complete with hardboiled mugs like PigBoy, Tom China, and Portnoy Spavin. By setting his hero's mysterious quest in Hell itself, Brett Alexander Savory has started a whole new genre: Actual Underworld Noir." --Stewart O'Nan, author of Snow Angels and Faithful, co-written with Stephen King

"I loved it. Stylish, fun, and neatly turned. Distinctive and bizarre--and I mean that in a good way--this is a fine ride through some very unusual territories." --Michael Marshall Smith, author of Spares and Only Forward