Tales of the Ex-Tanks; A Book of Hard-Luck Stories (Paperback)

This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated.1900 Excerpt: ... TALE THE FOURTH IN WHICH EX-TANK NO. 24 PEDDLETH FEATHER FLOWERS, AND RESORTETH TO YE SPORT OF KINGS "when I decided that time to jump Slopeville and line out for the eastern seaboard--it was in the summer of '95--I had $450, enough glad rags to stock a second-hand store, several Kimberley rocks and a straight aqua record of four months behind me," said Ex-Tank No. 24, the theatrical member of the Harlem Club of Former Alcoholic Degenerates. "San Francisco in summer is as dead as West Broadway at I A. M., and there was nothing doing in my line. I felt so rich, anyhow, that I wanted 'em all to see how I shaped up back here in the old parish, for when I'd struck out from New York in the wake of the setting sun a bit over a year before, I was holding them up with horseshoe nails instead of buttons, and my shoes were tied with copper wire. So I decided to prance in here, all pinked up, and daze 'em up around Thirty-fourth street with my blue-white boulders, creased wardrobe and the browny-green Government-stamped slips of paper kertish wherewith to buy in cases of emergency. Oh, bright and gladsome dream oh, tender and touching fancy. Oh, rosy and" "Eliminate that " shouted Ex-Tank No. 7, the parliamentarian and kicker, jumping to his feet. "Just delete that 'cello obligate You're not hurling a slow-music spiel at a bunch of 'Ingomar' and 'Ticket o' Leave Man' tie counters. Get out of the limelight and give us a plain, unvar" "The Sergeant-at-Arms will subject No. 7 to fifteen minutes of our new corrective electrical treatment for buckers and interrupters," said the Chief Ex-Tank, rising and frowning severely. When No. 6 was dragged from the room to the Chamber of Correction, "The Ham, No. 24, will now resume," said the Chief Ex-Tank. "Well, I didn't put the ...