"I felt horribly guilty, dear Jim," he said, "when the news came of
Braddock's dreadful defeat. I could hardly look your dear mother in
the face, and, though the kind lady would not, I know, say a word
to hurt my feelings for the world, yet I could see that she
regarded me as a monster, for it was on my advice that, instead of
coming home when you got your discharge, you remained out there and
took part in this unfortunate expedition. I could see Aggie felt
the same, and, though I did my best to keep up their spirits, I had
a terrible time of it until your letter arrived, saying you were
safe. If it had not come, I do believe that I should have gone
quietly off to Exeter, hunted up my box again, and hired a boy to
push it for me, for I am not so strong as I was. But I would rather
have tramped about, for the rest of my life, than remain there
under your mother's reproachful eye. However, thank God you came
through it all right, and, after such a lesson, I should hope that
we shall never have repetition of such a disaster as that. As an
old soldier, I cannot agree with what you say about the uselessness
of drill, even for fighting in a forest. It must accustom men to
listen to the voice of their officers, and to obey orders promptly
and quickly, and I cannot but think that, if the troops had gone
forward at a brisk double, they would have driven the Indians
before them. As to the whooping and yells you talk so much about, I
should think nothing of them; they are no more to be regarded than
the shrieks of women, or the braying of donkeys."
General
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