Keep Off the Grass (Paperback)

This historic book may have numerous typos, missing text or index. Purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. 1919. Not illustrated. Excerpt: ... CHAPTER VII CUPID & CO., LTD. "Some letter " ejaculated Edward, with disgust. "It's like a magazine serial. Just gets you going, and then it's continued in our next. All bases full, and then three men strike out--Just the way the Germans ran the war. Who's writing this doggone book about us, anyhow?" "Man named England," answered Henrietta, glancing over another letter. "I don't know him, and don't want to. He's not what I call respectable. I heard he said, the other day, that the soldiers would have been saved a lot of scratching if Noah had stepped on the pair of cooties as they came aboard the ark. That's not what I call reverential. Thank heaven, we're only people in a book, and don't have to associate with the author Want to hear another letter, do you? All right. Do get that miserable cigar properly lighted, and listen. This one is from Catherine Brenton to Isabelle Pearl -- William's fiancee, you know. It says: Portland, Saturday. Dearest Isabelle: Oh, my poor heart is broken I've just got to write and tell you some of the terrible things that have been happening to poor Percy and me, or perish of grief. 87 I thought this war was awful enough, before, when it only meant three-cent postage on my letters to Percy, and thirty-cent banana royals, and a tax on theater and movie-tickets, and of course all those drives and things, and the most scandalous increase in the price of lingerie. But I find that all those things are mere trifles. When a war comes right in between a girl and her fellow, and breaks up his car and gives him a couple of black eyes and -- but wait till I tell you. There's not another soul I can turn to, dear, in this time of stress that tries men's souls -- girls', I mean. And I know you'll understand, won't you? You know how it is between...