The Widow to Say Nothing of the Man (Paperback)

This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1908 edition. Excerpt: ... six-foot-two specimen of masculine humanity, who was first in war and first everywhere but in his own home, where he was afraid to put his feet on a chair or light a pipe or make an original remark, because some little dried-up runt of a woman had him hypnotized into believing that he was the thirty-second vertebrae and she all the rest of the bones and sinew of the human race? A woman is like a darky, who fancies that'f reedom'means three-quarters of the sidewalk, or a small boy who imagines that doing as he pleases means smashing his sister's toys and stealing sweets from the pantry. Put her in her place and she will stay there; but give her an inch of power and she'll take an ell of liberty and boss you off your own door sill. The biggest, boldest woman that ever lived is built like a barge, to be towed; and any little man who puffs up enough steam and makes a loud enough noise can attach her to himself and tow her all the way up the river of life." The bachelor laid down his cigar and gazed at the widow in awe. "And I never knew it," he whispered huskily. "I suppose," said the widow, beginning to toy with the fringe again, "that you've been asking girls to kiss you, all this time." "Not all the time," protested the bachelor. "And, of course," continued the widow maliciously, "they've all refused you." "Not all," repeated the bachelor, pensively. "What?" The widow glanced up quickly. "Once," explained the bachelor apologetically, "I didn't have a bald spot." "When a man asks for a kiss," pursued the widow, thoughtfully, "a girl HAS to refuse him; but when he takes it" "She has to take it, too," said the...