John Cheap the Chapman's Library; The Scottish Chap Literature of Last Century, Classified with a Life of Dougal Graham (Paperback)

This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated.1877 Excerpt: ... A GROAT'S-WORTH OF FUN FOR A PENNY. A Sailor taking a walk in a field, observed-a bull rapidly advancing towards him--'Helm-a lee, messmate, he cried out at the top of his voice. The bull, however, probably not comprehending the injunction, speedily levelled his adviser with the ground. 'There, you stupid, ' said the tar, as he raised himself, evidently more in sorrow than in anger, on his elbow, didn't I tell you you'd run foul of me.' The Grey Ass.--Shortly after the Battle of Waterloo, and while the Duke of' Wellington was at the height of his popularity, the Boniface of a village inn somewhere in England, whose establishment flourished under the name of 'The Grey Ass, ' resolved to add to the popularity of nis house by substituting a painting of the Great Captain, for the one which had so long dangled above his door. So resolved, so done. A travelling artist was employed; the 'Grey Ass' was obliterated; and the Duke 'reigned in his stead.' Alas, however, for the uncertainty of human calculations; this event, to which he had looked forward with the certainty of its increasing his business, and consequently his coffers, proved to our landlord a source of bitter vexation and disappointment;--a rival in the village had adopted his discarded sign, and as the country bumpkins were better acquainted with their old friend the Ass, than with his new successor, the consequence was that they followed their old acquaintance and left the Duk" 'alone with hisglory.' This was not to be borne; our landlord, having nothing else to do, put his brains to steep to devise some plan to counteract his fatal error; and the result of his cogitations appeared shortly after in an addition to his signboard, immediately under the figure of the Duke, on which was painted, in large le...