Josh Billings; His Book of Sayings (Paperback)

This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can usually download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 186? edition. Excerpt: ...thought that awl the time spent in manufakturing striped snaix, and muskeeters, waz wasted. If thare waz nothing but truth in this wurld, a fool would stand just as good a chanse az a wize man. True perlitenes consists in being anxus about the welfair ov uthers; false perliteness consists in being verry anxus about nothing. Eobbers are like rain, tha fall on the just, and the unjust. Answers to Contributors. 99 If a man iz az wize az a sarpent, he can afford to be as harmless as a dove. We are ap tu hate them, who wont take our advice, and despise them who do. It iz dredful eazy tew be a phool--a man kan be one and not know it. Real happiness dont consiss so mutch in what a man dont hav, az it duz, in what he dont want. Pear iz the fuss lesson larnt, and the laste one forgotten. Noboddy but a phool, gits bit twise bi the same dog. XXXV. ANSWERS TO CONTRIBUTORS. JOSH BILLINGS wants it respekfully understood, that, tho hiz duta az sensor ov a vartuous press ockasionally kauses him tew lite onto sum contributors at a high rate ov speed, he dus it, not out ov malis tu those who rite, but thru grate luv and tribulashun for those who read: TO CONTRIBUTORS. " i" Hear an Angell Whispre," by Clemantha.--Theze lines contain more poeckry, and less truth. The fact is, Angells don't whispre, if tha hav got enny thing tew sa, tha sa it rite out loud. Tri agin, Clemantha; rite onto kontentment, or happiness, or sum sich subjec, that haint never bin rit onto. " Slavery, ordained ov God" bi A. D. P.--This produckshion we cant accept. "We are bound in our insuranse polisy not tew hav on hand " enny article extra hazardus on akount ov fire," and we don't want tu be struk bi litenin, nor sent tu purgatory, and looze our insurance besides. Furthermore, ...