Mission One of Auggie the Alien (Paperback)

This is the humorous story of a 4th grader, seen through the eyes of a human hybrid alien child, sent to Earth to study our culture - to see if they could coexist with the humans. Auggie has to try and understand 4th graders slang, body language, and the unwritten protocols of the classroom; all in an attempt to blend in. He upsets his teacher, Mrs. Malumrector, who constantly thinks Auggie's trying to get smart with her when getting stupid with her would be counterproductive. Not only does Mrs. Malumrector not get Auggie's literal logic, nor do any of the other students in his class. That is except for Left Hand Chuck who thinks Auggie's hysterical and helps him by teaching him how to use human slang. But if Auggie truly wants to complete his mission of blending in with the other children he needs to cheer for both teams, except if they're losing. He needs to learn not to wear the 'P and the J' with the feet conveniently attached to school because they're for sleeping in only. That ironically enough, Grandpa isn't going to faint from low blood pressure even though his eyes often tend to roll upwards whenever Auggie is speaking. 'Pop-a-Squat' isn't a good name for a dog, even though he's great at it. And under no circumstance is he to bring his pet to school even if his teacher has her own pet there, Emily, another student in his class who is neither a gerbil nor a fish.