All I Know (Paperback)


“I’m dazed and confused, and messed up too, That’s all I know, it’s tough and it’s true."

You’re furious at the world. And your only weapon is a backpack full of words.

Gabriel is fifteen years old. Fifteen going on fifty, his mom used to tease. But after her death, he’s no longer sure where he is supposed to fit in. The psychologist wants Gabriel to talk about his feelings.

But how do you explain to her that it’s been easier to cope with anger than with tears these past few months?

How do you explain the fact that your so-called “mixed blood” makes you different than everyone else at school?

How do you explain that things between you and your dad have changed since he’s in a mental institution, learning to deal with his loss, while you have to find a way to go on with your life?

How do you explain the fact that, since the accident, you’ve tried cutting your wrists ... twice?

So, Gabriel loses himself in the world of performance poetry, where he learns to stick his hand deep inside his backpack of words and fling those words at an audience, like red-hot coals. Then he meets Sasha, who’s prettier than Snow White and knows a thing or two about poetry.

A truly South African story about a struggling father-and-son relationship and the healing power of words. Van der Vyver writes convincingly and engagingly about the world of performance poetry and Gabriel’s desperate attempts to make sense of life’s challenges after the death of his mom.


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“I’m dazed and confused, and messed up too, That’s all I know, it’s tough and it’s true."

You’re furious at the world. And your only weapon is a backpack full of words.

Gabriel is fifteen years old. Fifteen going on fifty, his mom used to tease. But after her death, he’s no longer sure where he is supposed to fit in. The psychologist wants Gabriel to talk about his feelings.

But how do you explain to her that it’s been easier to cope with anger than with tears these past few months?

How do you explain the fact that your so-called “mixed blood” makes you different than everyone else at school?

How do you explain that things between you and your dad have changed since he’s in a mental institution, learning to deal with his loss, while you have to find a way to go on with your life?

How do you explain the fact that, since the accident, you’ve tried cutting your wrists ... twice?

So, Gabriel loses himself in the world of performance poetry, where he learns to stick his hand deep inside his backpack of words and fling those words at an audience, like red-hot coals. Then he meets Sasha, who’s prettier than Snow White and knows a thing or two about poetry.

A truly South African story about a struggling father-and-son relationship and the healing power of words. Van der Vyver writes convincingly and engagingly about the world of performance poetry and Gabriel’s desperate attempts to make sense of life’s challenges after the death of his mom.

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